Idiot Sightings

by RR 6 Replies latest social humour

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  RR

  Idiot Sightings

  IDIOTS AT WORK:
  
  I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
  
  IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
  
  I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.
  
  IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
  
  My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
  
  IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
  
  I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and added, "That's why we ask."
  
  IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
  
  The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
  
  IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
  
  At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "down sizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
  
  IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
  
  I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
  
  IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
  
  When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."
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  ballistic

  With regard to idiot sighting one, I travelled through several countries with an un-signed passport. On my return to England, British customs pointed out to me that a passport is NOT VALID unless signed. In other words, I had travelled illegally for 5 years. They promptly got me to sign it just as in the case of your example. The only part of the story which makes them an idiot is trying to compare it with anything.
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  Oxnard Hamster

  I think I've seen some of those before, but they are still funny.

  However, under the everyday stress of work and whatnot, I guess it's easy to make dumb mistakes because we live in such a fast paced society. That's just my theory.
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  Faraon

  I think I met Idiot # 5. I called the manager to send a locksmith instead because she was taking too long on the driver's door, the car was parked outside the dealership, it was beginning to rain, and the top was down on my convertible.
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  Elsewhere

  IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
  
  My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

  I knew a guy who liked to order a "Cheese-burger with no cheese".
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  wednesday

  I once drove through Chic-filet after having worked the night shift. I ordered a burger, and got very upset when told they only had chicken.
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  Stephanus

  I once drove through Chic-filet after having worked the night shift. I ordered a burger, and got very upset when told they only had chicken.

  Wednesday, in Oz we call almost anything hot on a bun a burger. So we have chicken burgers (chicken breast fillet or a chicken pattie on a bun) and fish burgers (fish or fish cake on a bun). I understand that if you order a chicken burger in the US, you'll get a blank look - the term to use is sandwich.