Need a little help

asortafairytale

I went to a JW funeral last night. I haven't been to the hall, or any gathering of the dubs in 2 years...and ordinarily, I wouldn't have gone, but this man meant a lot to me as a child.

I walked in, and it was like another world. The people I grew up with, the people who were my closest friends stared at me...they didn't say anything, they just stared, like "You don't belong here, so leave". It was sad, but it pissed me off more than anything. The older ones were like vultures, though.

My problem is...why can't I just say no??? I have been out of that cult for some time now, but I still can't seem to just say "NO!" I had an offer to study for baptism again, and someone else will be coming by to bring magazines to my house. I felt backed into a corner, and too guilty to say anything but "Um...okay."

Does anyone have any advice for me? What should I do when they start knocking on my door again?

My girlfriend is kind of looking forward to them coming, because she has wanted to give the Witnesses a piece of her mind for a long time! She said they better not take their eyes of the door the entire time they're there! lol!

~~Asortafairytale~~

Lady Lee

Hi a sort

It sounds like the funeral wasn't the place to make a scene by saying no to them. So I actually think that was OK.

But before they show up practice some polite but firm ways to say what you really want to say. In fact write it down first if that will help

franklin J

Hey, asortoffairytale,

I know exactly what you mean. I have lived thru it for the passed 20 years. I have come to the conclusion that their rude treatment is THEIR CHOICE , not mine. I can live with myself. I am always polite and courteous to them and firmly tell them, " I am not interested, but you are always welcome at my home socially". I can say that, because I know that they will not come. As for your girlfriend, by all means, let her " clear her conscience" and blast them when they come....it might make her feel better....it might also be fun to watch (LOL)

As for funerals, I was raised in the faith and left in my early 20s ( back in the early 1980s) my dad was an elder. He and my mother eventually fell away. My dad passed on this spring and while he had no lack of friends ( "worldly" that is) I called the current PO in our former congregation whom I knew and told him that there might be some people who would want to know of my dads passing. My parents were very social as JWs, and had many friends---always someone at our house for dinners. NO ONE came to his service, much less called my mother to offer condolences. NOT ONE PERSON. 20 years is a long time to heal, but the JWs have a callous nature. They are conditioned and taught to be that way. Who needs those kind of people in life? I have come to the conclusion , based on my "worldly experiences" of the passed 20 years, that I am much better off without them.

regards, Frank

Nosferatu

I know how you feel about the whole JW funeral thing. I attended one about 3 years ago, and it was NOT a pleasant experience. You go there to show your respect for the dead guy, not to be preached at and shunned.

As far as the JW offering you a bible study, I used to always get by on "I'll think about it". That seems to satisfy them quite well. Then when they offer to get in contact with you, you turn it around and say you'll contact them.

When the JWs come around, just pull out your copy of COC (if you have one). They won't want to come back.

Stacy Smith

You sure do need to work on that NO word.

asortafairytale

Nosferatu~ exactly...I went to pay my respects, and I left with a freaking Watchtower, and judging eyes on my back.

As for your girlfriend, by all means, let her " clear her conscience" and blast them when they come....it might make her feel better....it might also be fun to watch (LOL)

Yeah...she did her her own research on the JWs, and it just waiting for a chance to use it! It should definitely be interesting.

I think it was so difficult to say no because I just wasn't prepared. I forgot that funerals are perfect places to witness, and place literature.

Thank you guys for your advice!

I will go and write down everything I want to say to them...maybe I'll put a big sign on my front door that says "APOSTATE LIVES HERE" Maybe they'll get the hint. lol

~~Asortafairytale~~

95stormfront

I felt backed into a corner, and too guilty to say anything but "Um...okay."

...and this is the type of attitude that they feed off of, that is, inducing guilt by asking you questions that are clearly non of their business.

The last time I talked to a group of elders, after some pleasantries they bluntly got to the point of asking me questions about my schedule and what they could do to help me get back to the meetings. I just as bluntly told them that my schedule was non of their business, that if I needed their help I would ask for it, and that I was quite satisfied with the course of my life currently.

Fight your way out of the corner, if you feel that way, by turning their guilt tactics back on themselves. They're usually quite surprised when anyone does this and are almost never prepared for it.

A Paduan

Yeah - like stormfront said

Don't even entertain it - plainly use 'No' with conviction - maybe a "you must be kidding me" might help to express yourself better.

Need a little help

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