Gossip

by Sassy 9 Replies latest jw friends

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  Sassy

  Did you ever notice when you were a JW, that even though we were told not to gossip, told it could be as serious as a disfellowshiping offense, but everyone still gossiped any way. Sometimes I think they have their gossip circles much worse than anyone else. People in the 'world' have a life. They don't need to make up so much drama with their mouth.

  And right in the congregation there was always gossip.. that irriated me. And pioneers, I've seen so many sit and talk about this one or that, not getting to enough meetings or service and judging them as if their own personal sh## doesn't stink.

  And what would upset me even more was when wives of elders were gossiping and you know that some of that came direct from their husbands and committe meetings.

  Why didn't I see the hypocrasy in that all through the years as a sign that something is wrong?
• 

  ApagaLaLuz

  oh gawd yes..... in a matter of days the JW grapevine would kick in.

  Someone would tell their friend, who told their cousin, who told their friend in a another hall, who told their friend (in confidence of course) who told a car full while in service, who told their families, who told their sister, who told their wife, who told her husband, who told his brother, who told his friend, who told his sister, who told her mom, who told her best friend's mom, who told her aunt and uncle in Tennessee.

  You get the point right?
• 

  Dawn

  sns: two simple reasons......(1) they're bored, (2) they have low self esteem

  Gossiping about others can relieve both problems - at least temporarily. I'm ashamed to admit that I did the same thing
• 

  sandy

  sns,

  I know exactly what you are talking about..........

  Gossip is really disgusting and I am sure we are guilty of it at least one time in our lives. Though none of us are perfect and it is easier to be bad than good at times gossip really is a bad.

  I remember one Elder's wife in particular used to gossip about people before the book study started each week. And her elder husband would just sit there like nothing was wrong over hearing everything she would say. But that didn't surprise me because I know for a fact that he gossiped about those who had to meet with the elder's to confess their "sins".

  He gossiped about my "judicial meeting".
• 

  Country Girl

  What's really horrifying is that the kids are "right there" and hear all the adults gossiping, and then think it's okay, too!

  I admit that I am ashamed to say I participated in this, but I did. We had a particular young girl at our Hall that was kind of nerdy, heavyset, an only child, and very socially shy. We always invited her to "our stuff" because our Mothers always made us invite everyone to slumber parties and what not so no one would feel left out. That was probably a good thing, in a general sense. But one night, at a slumber party at my house, we all ganged up on her and told her that we thought she was ridiculous because she always said "I'm sorry." If someone stepped on HER toe, she said she was sorry. That poor girl, we ganged up on her and told her that she should stop doing that ridiculous thing RIGHT NOW, and stand up for herself. I am sure she was horrified by being singled out. I felt bad about that after that night, and always tried to be really extra special nice to her after that because I felt like a real asshole for doing that to her. What made me feel bad is that she was *such* a nice person, and when you were alone with her she was really engaging and interesting, and I felt really bad how we treated her.

  CG
• 

  stillajwexelder

  In my hall - gossip was a major problem -- and guess who were the worst culprits -- yes -- elders wives always - -I kid you not!
• 

  Sassy

  I have even had problems with the ONLINE community of JWs. If you were on any of their boards and something happened to someone, pretty soon in chat, email, private messages and SOMETIMES even in posts in private Mod only forums info was said about this one or that. So now we aren't just talking the gossip grapevine bad years ago regarding in your congregation, in neighboring congregations, in the circuit.. but NOW we have 200 other people or more talking if it is juicy enough.

  When I got into trouble two years ago and even though I was only reproved in the congregations, supposed friends were gossiping amongst themselves between emails and then those people emailed and talked to others and before I knew it a ton of people were treating me different. the Gossip is like a plague..
• 

  morty

  Interesting post sns,

  I myself have been shamely in that grapevine...Nothing to be proud of...We tent to sometimes get so to speak caught up in the momet...but nevertherless, someone or somebody can be very hurt from it....I guess it is up to us, has human beings to make our choices, but if we feel we must do it, then more then likely it is OUR self esteem that needs to be worked on....Something for all of us to think about it...the tounge can be a criticizeing tool, or it can be full of kindness and esteem.....imo....

  morty
• 

  simplesally

  What is particularly amazing about the online community is that they feel that they have a right to discuss this in chat or on their private forums. The mods and the admins of those forums act like they are the elders/police of the online community and they are "protecting" the online flock.
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  lovinlife

  sns, I so totally agree with you about their not having a life and having to fill it with gossip. That's how it was in our hall. But the sickest part was the way they would be so judgemental, looking down on them. And it always started with something simple...then onto the complete dissection of the persons worth, and eternal salvation. ICK!