I haven’t posted here in a while, although I have been keeping an eye on the posts. I love Morpheus bluntness and SBF optimism that JW chariot is going to fall of the cliff imminently!
As the title suggests, the latest in my life is that I’m finally free! Took the decision to quit meetings all together 2 months ago, and told family I have quit going. I decided against overloading them with apostate info, and just kept it as personal / doubts. It was never the less a very heated conversation that had to done in order for me to get a measure of closure.
Am I still a JW? On paper yes. I decided against the disassociation route to keep the communication with family open, albeit a very loose communication. Trying to dodge the elders in my congregation is another matter all together. I’ve had a few texts and missed calls, but expect them to come knocking soon. Going to keep my reasons strictly personal and if anything say I have doubts. I highly recommend this strategy to any one else in my situation.
I must say this moment feels very good. But I have regrets. Regrets that I didn’t take this all important last step many years ago. I believe I was still holding onto the beliefs of the JW, even if it was just the fringes, since I woke up 5+ years ago. But all that this reminds me is that the JW belief system goes down deep into the human consciousness. Once indoctrinated it’s very difficult to loosen those shackles.
But I’ve done it. I’ve finally made it out the other side. And I would like to thank this site and the people that post for helping me overcome the “deeply intrenched things” that have plagued me over the years.
The only question I really still have is, what’s next? And this is one question I’m happy not to know the answer to. I feel excited for life again, and I like the feeling of the unknown.
These years since waking up I’ve realised that life is what you make it. We do not get anything handed to us on a plate, and whatever thing of value there is, it’s worth fighting for.
I hope to stick around, and to join in discussions here and there. The Future for JWs is very much Weighed in the Balance. I feel I am in the middle of the Morpheus camp and the SBF camp. I feel we will see decline, but no where near a collapse. Maybe they will loose a million or 2 followers, but nothing catastrophic.
Lets wait and See.....