Doing What the Bible says...

by Gadget 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • Gadget
    Gadget

    I got this in an email from my sister.......

    Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to the Old Testament, Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative. Dear Dr. Laura

    Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law.

    I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.

    When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be abomination. End of debate.

    I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

    1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing smell for the Lord - Leviticus 1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

    2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

    3. I know that I am not allowed to have contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual cleanliness - Leviticus 15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

    4. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

    5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states she should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill her myself?

    6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Leviticus 11:10, it is lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

    7. Leviticus 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

    8. Most of my male friends get their hair cut, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by the bible, in Leviticus 19:27. How should they die?

    9. I know from Leviticus 11:6-9 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

    10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of threads (cotton and polyester blend). He also tends to curse a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town to stone them? - Leviticus 24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? Leviticus 20:14.

    I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

    Your devoted fan,

    Jim

  • Phantom Stranger
    Phantom Stranger

    Yeah, this has been going around for a while. While it's aimed at a self-righteous gasbag, it's a great reminder that every single Christian religion and denomination interprets the Bible as literally true...except for the figurative parts, of course.

    Which parts are those? Ah, here is the rub...

  • Euphemism
    Euphemism

    Phantom... that's true, of course. It's worth noting, however, that Dr. Laura is Jewish, not Christian. Most Christian denominations hold that the Old Testament is no longer binding on Christians, so they could easily dismiss the above arguments as being irrelevant to them.

  • Phantom Stranger
    Phantom Stranger

    While may Christian religions claim to not be bound by the Old Testament, in practice just about all of them follow precepts from the OT as "Bibilical commands". Especially when it's useful to them to do so.

  • DFWnonJW
    DFWnonJW

    LOL - sorry, couldn't resist. I hadn't seen this email before and so therefore I did laugh out loud. I hope there is no sanction ( Leviticus xx:xx ) to be levied upon me for the failing of me to restrain my laughter that Lo, was indeed laughed out loud. No, nor for the use of run on sentences that were run on by me.

  • jws
    jws
    While may Christian religions claim to not be bound by the Old Testament, in practice just about all of them follow precepts from the OT as "Bibilical commands". Especially when it's useful to them to do so.

    I found that especially true of Witnesses. Though they also claim that Jesus replaced the law, but they certainly seem to be focused on the whole old testament a lot - when it suits them.

  • undercover
    undercover
    I found that especially true of Witnesses. Though they also claim that Jesus replaced the law, but they certainly seem to be focused on the whole old testament a lot - when it suits them.

    They got that one figured out.

    Even though Jesus brought an end to the "Law", many of the "principles" of the Hebrew scriptures gives us insight on how Jehovah views things. Therefore, we can look to the Hebrew scriptures to see how Jehovah God views certain matters such as homosexuality, eating blood, adultery, idolatry, etc and apply them to how we view them today. As you know, the scriptures say that "God does not change" so therefore how he viewed certain matters then would still apply to today. So let us......

    I had a talk on the value of the Hebrew Scriptures one time. Can ya tell?

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