Mummy's (Mommy's) Boys - Old school Elders are mummy's boys.

by freddo 3 Replies latest jw friends

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  freddo

  In the congregations I have been in there are many long time dyed in the wool elders who were the sons of women of a certain age. Let me explain - must you? Yes.

  Mom "finds the truth" (often because a loved one died in the war, or died when she was young and she bought into the nice ladies calling to offer the resurrection hope) sometime between WW2 and Vietnam. Dad is an opposer or an unbeliever.

  Little Johnny is indoctrinated by gullible yet firm mother. Little Johnny loves his mommy and follows her into the faith. Daddy is indifferent or mildly opposed and gives the family financial stability although credit often goes to Jah. During the cold war and the threat of Nuclear Armaggeddon the "truth" provides an anchor to little Johnny. He is convinced by 1975 and the generation that saw 1914 not passing away. He becomes an elder in the 1970's or 1980's. He may have gone on to Bethel or been a CO or Special Pioneer.

  He is still there now serving away as he goes through his 60's and 70's, 80's and death. His hopes dashed but he knows nothing else and resignedly plods on until he sits in the corner and hands over the reigns of leadership to a younger less stable, less experienced and less/or willing group in their 30's and 40's.

  Do you know of any of these?
  
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  OneEyedJoe

  My father (and mother) both came into the cult that way, though a little later - my parents were in their late teens when they were baptized (and married shortly thereafter) in the run-up to 1975. Both were dragged into the cult by their mothers, with both their fathers being opposed (one left, the other eventually joined the cult too after about 30 years of being gradually worn down). Now they're both as 'in' as can be. My father is sacrificing his health because of all the stress and obligation he has because of his duties in the cult.
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  Beth Sarim

  I know of a few former Elders and CO's. They are still very, very much still ''in'' the Borg, ''in'' with the so-called ''in'' crowd. But interestingly enough they have kind of hinted in a way of the off the chart stress they had when it comes to CA's. Interesting that they would mention that the toll it took on their blood pressure and general health due to it all. They didn't really come out and say it but they feel a lot less stressed out now when they don't have to deal with parts in CA's or Elders preparing for the CO's visit.
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  Cangie

  So you've met my ex-husband? He was a complete momma's boy---son of a domineering, controlling JW mother and an emotionally weak, spiritually inactive, verbally abusive father. He was very emotionally enmeshed with his mother...she ran our marriage in the background. He was the "golden child" of the congregation, appointed MS at about 20, quickly moving up the ranks until he achieved the position of Elder.

  He was angry, narcissistic and abusive. We eventually divorced when he committed adultery with nothing more than a smack on the hand for both the abuse and the adultery. He married again, has another unhappy marriage, remained an elder the entire time and now in his 60's is the COBE of his present congregation. His relationship with our daughter is sporadic, but he and our son barely interact. My son was a MS for many years but has now faded, and his father is giving him the "soft-shun." The ex's health has always been poor, but he keeps running on the hamster wheel, and will probably die early , while at his funeral they will give him the kudos of having lived his life as a "faithful witness."