Anybody remember those brothers that would harass, and hound the elders into making them, finally, appoint him as an elder himself?

by Dunedain 9 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Dunedain
    Dunedain

    Lol, for some reason, I was thinking back to all the many "characters" that were often so prevalent in Kingdom halls back in the day. They are, I am sure, still there now, but fortunately I haven't been in a KH for like 20 years.

    Anyway, I remembered this one brother, who was DYING to be made an Elder. He could not believe he wasn't an elder yet, after sooo many years. In his mind, he did, and was doing, everything right. It just did not make sense, lol.

    I remember watching the "progression" of his trying to get appointed. At this time, I was only around 10 years old, but I remember observing, from a distance, and for years, his "desperate" attempt, and how it evolved into "lunacy" over time. I was even privy to some "private" conversation because my father was an elder at the time, and one of the ones being harassed.

    I must admit, this "brother" was actually a nice dude, and never did anything wrong to me personally, but his "journey" to become an elder, was quite comical.

    First, he made his wife become a pioneer. That's what she was, a complete and total pioneer, with the personality of a flea. She always looked so miserable, with a "puss" on her face, like she just smelled sour milk, BUT she pioneered. She was also, like 15 years younger than this brother, and the brother was often looked down upon, as a sort of "cradle robber", so this didn't help his "elder goal".

    Then he would constantly be harassing the elder by telling them, whenever he saw them, that he was " ready for more privileges". He would always be saying things like, "whatever you brothers think", and "whatever I can do", and "whatever you guys decide", it was just ridiculous.

    He would try so hard to kiss ass, that he was constantly introducing new "gadgets", and electronic equipment, to try and make the meetings "sound" better, and "clearer", and more "modern". What the brother didn't realize was that he was constantly buying the newest and most expensive, electronic gadgets, and that he looked "materialistic" to the Elders. Then, sometimes, the brothers would give in, and "adopt" his latest electronic, and change over the microphones, and they wouldn't work at the next meeting, and brother and sister "so and so's" comments would fade in and out, lol. That's 2 strikes, not only did brother "materialistic", make the elders spend money they didn't have to, but the stuff work like shit on top of it.

    Then he would continue to harass them for more privileges, all with the goal of being an elder just out of reach, until they would give in, and give him some more "privileges". He was put in charge of the magazine counter, and running this thing or that thing. The problem was, this brother had the WORST lateness problem ever. He was constantly late for every meeting, talk, field service, and even the "privileges" he was put in charge of, he was late to run it. I remember he would show up to the meetings, in his work uniform, at least twice a month, cause he was sooo late all the time. One time the CO was visiting, and practically yelled at him from the stage, for strolling in during the prayer.

    All this time, he still doesn't get why he still ONLY a "lowly" ministerial servant, and not an elder. The next "phase", was him and his wife had children. 2 cute little girls, and finally a boy. They would be dressed in all the best, and fanciest meeting clothes, and became "pawns" in his elder aspirations. He would concoct these long winded, and "wordy" answers for the kids to read for their Sunday Watchtower study comments. Everyone, would "oooh and aaah", how cute, and he would sit there with a proud look, waiting any day now to be "appointed elder", but the elders weren't biting.

    You see, because, he LOVED to spend so much money on all the latest gadgets, and new car, and dressiest clothing for the kids, him and his wife, and 3 children, were stuck in a 1 bedroom apartment, above his in laws house, lol. Not "elder" material, if you asked them, but he still didn't get it. So finally, after all the years, and years of ass kissing, and pioneering wife, and perfect children, and constantly harassing the elders, his ass kissing turned to "anger".

    He now started to talk to the CO, behind the elders backs, when the CO would come to visit. He would tell the CO that the body was "holding him back", and "snubbing" him. Well, of course, we all know how well that must have went over with the elders. It was the same old thing year after year, but now he was starting to "bully" the elders into appointing him.

    After years of letters to the society, and backroom, private talks to the CO's, and "crying" to the elders in other congregations, he finally snapping one day, and literally after calling all the elders into the backroom, and asking "why haven't I been made an elder yet", he was FINALLY made an elder.

    I remember, the night it happened, and as it was being announced, he sat there, knowing very well that everyone would be looking at him, and he was nodding his head up and down, in the "yes" motion, to say that "yes that's right I am finally getting what I deserve". Not humble, or quiet, or even happily smiling, nope just shaking his head up and down, in an I deserve this manner. Heck, it only took him 15 years, lol.

    Anyway, he was an elder for a few years, but always in a "backseat", kinda way. More like a bottom of the ladder type of elder, not in the "trenches", with the other assholes. He lasted like that a few years, until he moved about 1500 miles away to a new congregation. Well, guess what, he now had to be made an elder in THIS new congregation. Yes, he was an elder currently, but for some reason, it doesn't always carry automatically when you move to a new congregation. He figured he would be an elder very quickly, or at least during the next CO's visit. Well, it didn't happen, now these elders, were NOT appointing him, and were "dragging" their feet, another "conspiracy" against him.

    What he didn't, and never realized, was that he was not "elder material", and only got it by bullying himself into the position, and these elders saw thru his bullshit too. I heard that eventually, after so many years in his new congregation, of not being made an elder again, he made the old PO elder from my original congregation, write a letter to "help" these elders see that he should be an elder, lol. I don't know the status, as of now, though.

    Its just so crazy, when you put all this in perspective, on how some men will literally OBSESS over this elder position. It consumes some people, and they want it for their own selfish, and personal reason. Its a position they covet, but for all the wrong reasons. Finally, when they all get it, what is it really, other than a bunch of men, appointing each other into a bullshit, hypocritical "club", where they can judge other people. Its all a bunch of nonsense.

  • sir82
    sir82

    I've never seen anything quite that extreme, but I've seen it from more or less the other end.

    Some guys are so wrapped in their "elder persona" that if for some reason they are removed, it is devastating beyond words, almost beyond comprehension. They go into a "death spiral" of depression & bitterness.

    It's as if, if they are not an elder, they are nobody. It's almost literally the only thing that gives them any satisfaction in life.

  • freddo
    freddo

    I've seen similar. About ten years ago an MS. He even wrote letters to the body twice a year complaining.

    He moved congregations to get appointed. Hours and hours were spent on this brother because he would suck up to a couple of the dominant elders but there was always a couple of elders who did not dominate but would not be pushed around.

    Even a DO and CO spent their visit discussing him with one of the bodies of elders and as always in these cases there is a good side and a not so good side to these people.

    He changed congregations three times and never got appointed and on the last move they did not even make him a MS! As far as I know he still can't grasp why he doesn't qualify even as an MS.

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    If you want it you can't have it, lol!

  • pale.emperor
    pale.emperor

    I've seen what you've described almost exactly in my hall. The guy's now moved to another hall because our elders "all have it in for him".

    He is actually a nice guy... until you upset someone in his family, then they dont go to the hall for a few weeks, stop talking to you and talk about you behind your back.

    So maybe he's not far off after all!

  • WingCommander
    WingCommander

    This guy was obviously a dumbass. He would have been made an Elder in less than 2 years if he had been donating (by cheque with his name on it) in the contribution box, and giving out enough green handshakes come the CO's visit. I've seen some real low-life posuers become Elders super-fast using this very method. No Holy Spirit required, just green handshakes and all "who you knew".

  • Darkknight757
    Darkknight757

    There is a guy at the hall that comes to mind. He sooo badly wants to become an elder. He tries so hard too it's actually kinda sad to see such gross desperation.

    His problem? Scary. He is probably the scariest person you will ever meet. Misspell his name and he throws a fit. Don't turn in your territory on time and he will hound you like a rabid dog. He even went on a rant about humility and how he needs to display it on multiple meeting parts he did.

    Now they use him even less cause he's such a head case. Funny thing is we had our CO visit recently and AGAIN he wasn't appointed. LOL!!!

  • Darryl
    Darryl
    That's one thing I never desired in any way whatsoever. I was an MS when I started my fade and eventual ouster. I hated going to the meetings I was required to go to so the thought of more meetings, more responsibilities, shepherding calls, counseling married couples while my own marriage was on the rocks, more parts to prepare for no thanks. I was appointed along with another couple of guys we were the up and comers about to take the next step together but I took a step down instead of up.
  • Simon
    Simon

    Some people confuse "reaching out" with running what is almost an election campaign within the KH.

    The people who really want to be elders are usually the least suited to being in the role in my experience but also the ones that end up appointed.

  • MarkofCane
    MarkofCane

    I for one avoided the conversation where they tried to pressure me or encourage me to do more to become a elder. I've always owned my own business and even when I tried to simplify it seamed like it took all I had to make meetings and service, maybe deep inside I had my doubts.

    Anyways, their were some in my Hall that dint have the qualifications to be a elder, they kiss so much ass to be appointed. I remember this one fellow who's "Elder" father came down from another state to question why his son was not made a elder yet? After much pressuring and ass kissing they made him a elder, he turned into a little Gestapo, he would snitch on anybody if it gave him a leg up. There were some who really bought into the whole thing but most just wanted the status.

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