I was attracted by a girl on the first sight...I don't feel it's too much to say that it was one of the most exciting moments for me ever, which is just another ordinary monday for her. she is the only one that let me feel complete when I see her every time and this feeling lasts until last monday I gave her a note saying how I really feel about her and my expectation for a cup of coffee with her and being a friend. last wednesday, my friends told me that she came to supermarket where we work twice that day alone..obviously it was for me..I mean for a reply to me. unfortunately I was not working until Thursday.. I didn't see her until last sunday..she acts like she's taking a notice of me..always put me in the corner of her sight...she always does...at least I think so..I always do...and today, I got a chance to talk to her in person at 8:30pm seperately from the others in the staff room, asking for a dinner. this is the time when she finishes work today. I'l finish at 11:30 due to the fact that I was 2 hours late for I went to see Liv Taylor. but I dont care..I could blow anything to have a dinner with her. she told me she's a jehovah's witness, and there are rules and sacrifices, such as going to people's house door by door preaching and not having sex before marriage....she has to be a jw and she's not interested in 1 on 1 relationship now. I dont understand these stuff...I don't have any religion..does a jw have to be kept in the rule-cage or what? give me advices please, what to do..
Help!
by thecalling 8 Replies latest jw friends
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imallgrowedup
thecalling -
Welcome to the board!
Now, run, do NOT walk away from this girl! If you want to know what this religion is all about, you can read here, or go to www.freeminds.org . You don't want to get mixed up with this cult.
growedup
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La Capra
Yes, A JW has to be kept in a "rule-cage." That is exactly what the situation should be called. Those who wish to associate with an observant JW generally must step into that cage to do so. Trying to stay out of the cage and still socialize will cause great internal distress and conflict for the JW. The worst thing I have done in my life was to make a boy who wanted to date me climb in the cage with me when I was in high school. Nearly twenty years later, and he is still in the cage. Please, whether you decide to try to see this lady, whatever you do, don't climb in the cage with her. Shoshana
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Maverick
Dear thecalling: Welcome to the board! Becareful about this girl. Hang back, don't be too eager. she may just witness to you and try to covert you. Maverick
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Gadget
Hi. You took your name from the band? If this pertson is interested in you then she is not a true jw. whatever you do, make sure you aproach the jw religion with an open mind, look at both sides of the story. This girl, if they was a proper jw would not even look at you, so she was already having doubts. Be prepared for her needing a lot of emotional support, if she decides to leave the jw's it will fuck her up so much. But if you decide to help her throught this it will pay off rich dividends for you. But beware, if she is a true jw then she will try to convert you too, make sure you look at all sides of the story and don't let love blind you.
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seven006
Calling,
You say looking at this girl makes you feel complete? Exactly what parts of you are incomplete? If you think a JW girl is going to complete you simply by looking at her I would say if you need to feel complete, cut your leg off and look for a chick who has three legs. You have no idea what a JW woman will do to you. I married one once and she is still a major pain in my side after being divorced for over fifteen years.
Find another woman to look at, buy a pet, stare at the sun for two weeks until you go blind, hell, turn gay if that will help. Do anything in the world to get away from this girl.
Listen to everyone here that tells you to run like hell. Actually hell isn't far enough, shot yourself in the head right now. You'll thank me later.
Dave
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Amazing
The big questions is, "Why is she taking notice of you.?" A good JW girl should be looking the other way. If she is an adult, 18 in the USA, you might attempt to help her understand the problems with her religion ... that it more closely resembles a cult. The problem with that, is if you do not have good understanding of the religion, there is a chance she could such you into a life of pointless service and lost opportunities. It is not worth the risk or time.
My advice as one man to another is this: Turn off your testosterone, and find another girl to date ... but, as a man I know that this is almost impossible ... so, if you can't get this chic out of your mind, then first study with Jehovah's Witnesses, get baptized, go to meetings 3 times a week, goo door to door every Saturday and Sunday, and on holidays and vacations ... do this for at least twenty to thirty years, then come back and read Crisis of Conscience and In Search of Christian Freedom, both books by Raymond Franz, former member of the JW Governing Body.
Then you will see how you were tricked and deceived by your own testosterone ... you will cry, nash your teeth, and hate yourself for the rest of your life ... by then you will be overweight, and your wife will be a baggy old nag ... and the young whipper-snapper JW Elders will be calling on you to be more active door to door ...
You will pick up this post again, and wonder why you ever got involved with this religion. I hope that for your sake you will leave this girl alone, and move on with your life ... beautiful, attractive, and special women will come alone who will be just right for you and you for one of them ... and you life will work out much better.
Merry Christmas
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czarofmischief
Run.
They'll make you crazy. They are so nice and sweet, and so sincere - and they'll break your heart without thinking about it, because they are convinced Jehovah wants them to leave you.
Dating you would be a "sin". and eventually, they will be compelled by their conscience to "make it right" with Jehovah by either dumping you or trying to convert you - either way, it's misery.
CZAR
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Lady Lee
As much as you may read this and this you have just found a bunch or spoil sports and JW haters. Research this group well before becoming involved with this girl.
She has no idea what she is in just like none of us knew until we left what was really going on behind the scenes.
To become involved with you and remain a JW will mean she will be viewed as "less than" acceptable. Therefore she will be forced to do everything in her power to convince you to join them so she will be acceptable again.
You will have to give up your present way of life, your goals, your beliefs, your future, your family and friends. Life will revolve around the JWs and meetings, study and the door-to-door work. If your family object to you giving them up or your way of life then you will be expected to stop talking to them (if you can't convert them)
No holidays - no birthdays, no Christmas, no Thanksgiving - give it all up. If you ever have kids (which isn't recommended because you are supposed to devote all your time to
preachingselling magazines) they will never be able to participate in after school sports,, never have a birthday present or a Christmas present.If you do lure this girl away from the religion there is a good possibility that guilt will force her back in later. If you oppose this you will be seen as an opposer of God and any treatment of you will be a far cry from loving. Some people here have been lied about and had their kids taken away by an organization that will do anything to maintain their hold on a member - include break the law.
If your child is ever molested the elders (leaders in the congregation) will protect the molester and try to force you to not go to the authorities. They will force you into silence - at the expence of your child.
If your wife is raped she will be asked what she was wearing and whether she yelled or not. Many women have been blamed for the rape because she was wearing a type of clothing deemed inappropriate or because she didn't yell (even if she knew there was no one to hear her)
Research this very well. There are a lot of sacrifices that could affect you adversely by becoming involved with a JW. There are many people here who are/were involved with JWs or even ex-JWs who went back. It has turned their lives into a nightmare.
This discussion board is filled and busy for a reason. This cult hurts people. After leaving many people experience Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - very similar to abuse victims and war veterans. This is serious business. Don't just take our word for it - read everything you can.
Here are some links to try
http://www.caic.org.au/zentry1.htm
http://www.freedomofmind.com/resourcecenter/groups/j/jehovah/
http://www.rickross.com/groups/witness.html
http://www.freeminds.org/othrlink.htm
http://quotes.jehovahswitnesses.com/
There is also some material on my site