Life Recovery Options
Taking back control of your life by making your own decisions and your own choices is essential to recovery.
There are several things you can do to begin this process. You can do these things in whatever way feels right to you. You may want use a journal to list or write your thoughts and ideas as a way to stay focused on what it is you want, to motivate yourself and to record your progress.
1. Think about what you really want your life to be like. Do you want to:
* go back to school and study something of special interest to you?
* enhance your talents in some way?
* travel?
* to do a certain kind of work?
* have a different home space or to own your home?
* move to the country or the city?
* have a partner?
* have children?
* become more physically active?
* lose or gain weight?
You can probably think of many more ideas. Write them all down. You may want to keep them in a journal.
2. List those things that have kept you from doing the things you wanted to do in the past.
Then write down ways you could work on resolving each of the problems that keep you from doing the things you want to do and being the kind of person you want to be. As you do this, remind yourself that you are a intelligent person. You have the ability to find ways to resolve problems and to work on resolving them. You can resolve these problems slowly or quickly. You can take small steps or big steps--whatever feels right and is possible for you. But you must do it if you want to take back control of your life.
In the process of taking control of your own life, you may need to change the nature of your relationship with some of the people in your life. You may need to tell a parent or spouse that you will make your own decisions about where you will live, what you will do and who you will associate with. You may have to tell a sibling who has been overprotective that you can take care of yourself now.
3. Know your rights and insist that others respect these rights.
Your rights include the following:
* I have the right to ask for what I want.
* I have the right to say no to requests or demands
I can't meet.
* I have the right to change my mind.
* I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
* I have the right to follow my own values and standards.
* I have the right to express all of my feelings, both positive or negative.
* I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values.
* I have the right to determine my own priorities.
* I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings or problems.
* I have the right to expect honesty from others.
* I have the right to be angry.
* I have the right to be uniquely myself.
* I have the right to feel scared and say "I'm afraid."
* I have the right to say "I don't know."
* I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.
* I have the right to make decisions based on myfeelings.
* I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.
* I have the right to be playful and frivolous.
* I have the right to be healthy.
* I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.
* I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
* I have the right to change and grow.
* I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
* I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
* I have the right to be happy.
These rights have been adapted from The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Eugene Bourne (Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, 1995).
4. Educate yourself so that you have all the information you need to make good decisions and to take back control of your life. Study resource books. Check out the internet. Ask people whom you trust. Make your own decisions about what feels right to you and what doesn't.
5. Plan your strategies for making your life the way you want it to be. Figure out the best way for you to get what it is that you want or to be the way you want to be. Then start working at it. Keep at it with courage and persistence until you have reached your goal and made a dream come true.
JanG
CAIC Website: http://caic.org.au/zjws.htm
Personal Webpage: http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/