JWs is all religious life I?ve ever known, since early childhood. My grandmother was one of those discouraged when the 1975 expectations weren?t fulfilled; since then she became more and colder in the trail ?til one day she disassociated herself in writing and she?s never looked back. She lives happily by what little I know about her.
Some Of My Story
by Doubtfully Yours 7 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
caligirl
Maybe you will have the chance to get to know her now, if you are interested. My grandmother was never a witness, but one of my greatest regrets is that I was just waking up and getting out of the whole mess when she died. I would give just about anything to be able to have even one Christmas with her or send her one birthday card. All I can do now is hope that she knows that I did get out, along with my siblings.
I look forward to hearing more of your story.
-
shotgun
I agree with caligirl, maybe you should try to talk to her.
-
Doubtfully Yours
Sorry. Had a terrible time with cut and paste and didn't post most of the story.
But, to make it shorter, when the 'New Light' of the 1914 generation came out, that was the last straw for me. Since then, the WTBTS has been just another religious org for me. Also, since then I've been leading a double life, associating only with the 'spiritually weak' ones.
Things lately have become hectic and stressful since my husband's conscience, of course after some talks with elders and others, has been bugging him and now he wants to straighten up and reach for more privileges within the cong. He's a great guy, but I just cannot commit the way he wants me to in the religion. I love him and I feel he loves me too, but his desire to please within the org is great and also the org is the only place where he's been love-bombed after the horrible childhood and young adulthood he had. So, to say the least, this religion means the world to him.
Lately I've just been missing as many meetings as possible and turning in the lowest service time possible. This will not help him reach his goals and he's so upset about that.
I have a long term plan that will sure set me free, but for now I must take it easy; my parents are very important to me still. I've started reconnecting with the non-JW side of the family. Been making more friends at work, and outside the org, really nice people too!
Love all the support received on this website.
DY
-
JamesThomas
Dear DY, It looks as if you are in a problematic situation; kind of proverbial "rock and a hard place". My heart goes out to you. My advice is to take things slow and gentle. Be especially kind and patient with yourself and others right now. This breaking away period can be freeing, but quite stressful too. If you have time, please take a look at Byron Katie's site: http://www.thework.com/intro.html (make sure your computer sound is on for the intro). She has a wonderful way of helping us see that much of the stress -- especially when it seems others are working against us -- is caused by our own thinking. We have little or no control over other people, but we can learn to choose how we think. Thank you for sharing, DY; and please keep us informed of things. j
-
Doubtfully Yours
J,
Thanks for your kinds words.
Yes, I'm taking it rather slow. This past Wednesday I had to attend the meeting because I didn't feel strong enough to make it through one of my hubby's tantrums, and we had a pretty nice day 'til the evening rolled around so I compromised and went; while getting ready I made myself be late so, since he wants to be there 30 mins before the meeting starts, he left me to go on my own car once I finished. I then purposely took my sweet time and showed up like 2 mins prior to them saying 'please take your seats', and then proceeded to leave like 2 mins right after the 'amen'. So that's my tactic for the days that I have to attend because I don't want a fall out with hubby.
I continue to just associate and give my regards to only the 'spiritually weak ones'. Haven't let the proverbial 'cat out of the bag' yet with my doubts and my lack of faith, but many identify with me in the sense that there's more to life than just the WTBTS and their theories.
Something that I have going for me is that my parents are up there in age, and they're 'understanding' of my behavior; they don't bug me as much as they could, I guess. Perhaps is because they need me too much to upset me so.
Will keep you all posted from the 'inside', although it may be with a different twist since it's the Spanish side of the house.
Thanks all for your support.
-
jschwehm
If your grandmother is still alive, go ahead and reconnect. When I first left the JWs, my JW family members shunned me. So, I reconnected with my non-JW family members. They were extremely supportive and helpful.
My Aunt who was always the one who still tried with us even though we were JWs was very sick when I finally told her about my leaving the JWs. She wrote me a letter of encouragement from her deathbed literally. (She died a month later to the very day.) My Uncle talked to me after my Aunt died and told me that my news about leaving the JWs allowed his wife to die happy. My Aunt even left me a family heirloom. It is a Bible given to her by my grandmother who passed away when I was five years old.
In any case, reconnect if you can.
Jeff S.
-
Doubtfully Yours
Jeff S.,
Yes, I'm reconnecting with my non-JW side of the family and they're all very nice people. I'll be just fine in that respect.
As for my fade, it promises to be long and drawn out since my family and I are so well known and liked. Although, now that I think about it, we've recently moved to a new area and since I haven't been quite the enthusiastic good little Witness I used to be; so, maybe after all it won't be that big a deal to most. Maybe they're expecting my departure sooner than I imagine.
I already feel 'marked' by most when I do attend meetings or events; that's a horrible feeling, and one of the very reasons why I make it a point to be almost the last one in and first one out.
I also feel they're trying to "help" me; just the other day a 'ball-of-fire' regular pioneer lady came up to me and after giving me a very nice and warm greeting asked me if I had any afternoon free that we could go out on service. I then told her with the biggest grin that all my afternoons and evenings were busy. She sure hasn't given me such warm greetings since. Pretty sure that all the elders' and MS' wives, prompted by their husbands, will try to give me a lift so that my hubby can join the gang of VIP. IT AIN'T HAPPENING ON MY ACCOUNT.
Thanks for letting me unload.
DY