The Christmas period is almost upon us, so in the spirit of things.........
Christmas cake recipe
Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
lots of nuts
1 bottle Vodka
1 bottle of Brandy
2 cups of dried fruit
Sample the vodka to check quality.
Sample the brandy to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the vodka and brandy again to be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup of each and drink them both.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the vodka and, of course, the brandy is shtill OK.
Try another cup of each .... just in case.
Turn off the mixerer.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick fruit off floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a sdrewscriver.
Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.
Sample the brandy also to sheck it shtill ok.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.
Check the vodka.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Check the brandy.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven and fall in the fridge.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner when finishing off the brandy.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and kick the cat.
Fall into bed.
CHERRY MISTMAS!