Ansett airlines in Australia has had a lot of maintenance probs lately, and the other day an Ansett Pilot was Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."
Can't think of a Title
by Loki 3 Replies latest social humour
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Loki
Three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so.
The first man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning a couple of times.
Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength .. and the tools .. to cross this river. Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing the boat a couple of times.
The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he
also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the
tools ..... and the intelligence...to cross this river." And poof! God turned him into a woman. She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge -
Loki
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and space shuttles, all travelling at maximum velocity. The idea was to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne birds, to test the strength of the windshields.
British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.
When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken
hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the train driver's backrest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow. The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the US scientists for suggestions.
NASA responded with a one-line memo: "Thaw the chicken." -
Loki
This guy lived on his own and he was feeling a bit lonely, so he goes to the pet shop to get something to keep him company. The pet shop owner suggested an unusual pet, a talking millipede. OK, thought the man, I'll give it a go, so he bought one and took it home.
That night he decided to test out his new pet, so he opened the box and said, "I'm going to the pub for a drink, do you want to come too?" But there was no reply.
He tried again, "Oi, millipede, wanna come to the boozer with me? " Again, no response.
So the man ranted and raved for a bit, but after a while decided to give it one more try before he took the thing back to the shop. So he took the lid off the box and repeated, "I said I'm going to the pub for a drink do you want to come?"
For f***'s sake, I heard you the first time!" snapped the millipede,
Wait for it.....................................................