TAKING OUR LIVES BACK #2
Choices of conscience, freedom of thought, common sense, personal taste, individual maturity, accepting consequences of our choices, accountability for actions, personal determination, and the right and need to ask questions, even to question authority are among the cherished features humanity. When religion, government, business, or other social arrangements interfere with these, they encroach upon our dignity, our self-worth, our most basic rights and the foundation of our existence.
How the WTS entrapped us: When someone begins studying with the JWs, they are led to understand and believe that ‘religion’ in general, especially Christendom have not properly helped people to understand God’s requirements and his expectations to be met in order for us to have a relationship with God and gain his approval.
The process begins with basic issues that are rather obvious to the modern mentality, such as not worshipping idols (a.k.a. Catholic use of statues), dangers of immorality, avoidance of drug use, now including tobacco, etc. This progresses into areas not well defined in the Bible, and at times not even addressed in the Bible at all, such as not celebrating most holidays, especially Christmas and Birthdays, and leading to more complex topics such as God’s nature and whether he is a Triune deity. Eventually, a person is taught to virtually distrust almost every spiritual, moral, ethical, and social standard they have ever known or practiced.
Mortgaging our Conscience: In the book Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz, I was very appreciative of his use of the expression, ‘Mortgaging our consciences.’ Somehow, in the process of learning the ways of the Watch Tower, we were quietly maneuvered into believing that we could not trust other leaders in Society, especially the religious type, and that only the leaders of the Watch Tower Society could truly be trusted. Why? Because only they really loved Pure Truth, and therefore, had only altruistic and caring concern for us.
Sadly, we also were taught not to even trust ourselves. How? We were led to believe that we had three great enemies, The Devil, The World, and The Flesh. We cannot see, hear, touch, or communicate with the Devil, or at least not on any rational and open basic. Rather his actions always have to be interpreted via some standard that he is alleged to operate by. The World is likewise a murky and nebulous thing that is hard to define, and so almost anything in life can be declared ‘worldly’ by virtue Watch Tower decree. Again, as with the Devil, the standards required interpretation and definition.
Finally, the one thing that we can better define, control, and determine is the Flesh. It involves our own bodies and minds and our basic human nature. But somehow, the Watch Tower Society manages to convince us that our “flesh” is sinful in its basic nature and leads us to do bad things, such as abusing food, drink, sex and other things our body and our minds and hearts may otherwise freely enjoy. The Society, once again, manages to place this aspect of personal responsibility into uncertain and murky waters so that they become the source of standards and definitions as to what is good and bad, what is sinful or holy, what is acceptable and not acceptable use of our own flesh, our most private property rights. By submitting to their acclaimed authority and being the source of Truth, and accepting that nothing or no one else, not even ourselves can be trusted, we are forced between a rock and a hard place. As social creatures most of us need and want companionship and acceptance. To gain these within the Watch Tower System of religion, we must surrender or mortgage our personal conscience to the Watch Tower Society in exchange for being told what to do and that what they tell us is good and must be our only trusted source of information. God will be pleased with us, and maybe we might earn our everlasting life in the soon to be realized New System.
Checking with the Elders; Have you ever pondered just why JWs so frequently ‘check’ with the Elders of almost every matter, even obvious minor one? I recall doing this, even when I was an Elder, checking with the other Elders over various matters, some sort of serious, but most were minor. Worst of all, deep down inside, I knew the right answer, but just wanted to Be Sure, as though somehow I could not totally trust my own sensibilities.
I cannot recall anytime where I went to the Elders with some ‘matter’ where I did not already know the answer, as though I were asking if thus-and-so would be okay, and then have the Elders say, ‘Oh, you can’t do that!’ When I was an Elder, and JWs approached me for guidance and were ‘checking’ with me, they always knew the right answer, but wanted to Be Sure. Also, I believe that much of the time as JWs we went to the Elders because we wanted them to know we were thinking of them, and doing the right thing. Perhaps this was a form of seeking some approval, recognition, and acceptance within the culture.
Taking my life back with personal decisions: On one occasion, shortly before I walked away from the organization, I was invited to my nephew’s wedding at a church. Many JWs, if not most, are of the belief that they cannot attend such events at a church. And when in doubt will ask the Elders, who, will routinely discourage such attendance, and maybe cite some Watch Tower literature that supports their view.
What I did was searched out Watchtower and Awake! articles that were more generous or permissive in allowing JWs to attend such functions. I then attended, and did not disclose this to the Elders. Further, my family was supportive of not discussing this with the JWs. In the event that I were questioned, I had my Watch Tower references lined up to do battle – a battle that never happened. Wonder of wonders.
Learning from these steps: I learned right away the good feeling of making my own decisions, and not relying on the Elders. I discovered that my family could be trusted to keep the situation to ourselves. And, I found that by being prepared to defend my position, I developed a level of confidence that I had not enjoyed in many years.
As I left the organization, it was still hard to make some personal decisions, not because I could not use my brains and common sense, but I still feared what the JWs would think of me should they see or learn of some behavior that their religion prohibited. It took a while to do what I felt was right, and not worry about what the ‘system’ would think of me.
Eventually, a beard appeared on my face. Then a piece of birthday cake touched my lips. A Christmas tree appeared in my living room. Not that I have any high value on the custom itself, but rather, that by doing it, I was severing ties with a controlling religion, and experiencing life as I chose to live it.
My ultimate Discovery?: Peace of mind and heart. I worry about a lot less. I fed energy where it is needed in life. I find that I sleep better, feel better, and I experience a lot less stress, almost none, in my life. It is not that life is a free ride or without challenges, but I am not plagued with doubt, fear, or questions over minor matters, and the big issues are mostly easy to work out – and my energy is fed into the logistics of doing what is needed.
"Free at Last! Free at Last! Oh thank God we are Free at Last!!!" – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Amazing