Humor from President Georgie

AlanF

Political food in due season from our Fearless Leader:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(This is a poem made up entirely of actual quotes from George W. Bush. The
quotes have been arranged only for aesthetic purposes, by Washington Post
writer Richard Thompson. Too good not to share, especially during National
Poetry Month...)

MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
by George W. Bush

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.

Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize Society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!
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AlanF

Farkel

Yeah, Alan. Those are gems alright!

: I think we all agree, the past is over.

You know, I never quite thought about it that way. That is so DEEP.

I read the other day where his speech writers only make fifty grand a year. Even in today's economy, they are vastly overpaid.

If dubya himself wrote that speech, then we're in for some international dart-throwing for the next 3 1/2 years . Winston Churchill is probably hurling in his grave right now.

Farkel, who thinks we all agree, the future is not here yet.

TheHighPriest

Hi Alan,

The bush-man is something else, the quality of his "political food" and the rate at wich he dispenses the food, Wow.
Here are some more great quote's from cousin George.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
> > ..George W. Bush, Jr.
> >
> > "Republicans understand the importance of bondage
> >between a mother and child."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr.
> >
> > "Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr.
> >
> > "Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is
> >somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is
> >very important. We have seen pictures where there are
> >canals, we believe, and water. If there is water,
> >that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we
> >can breathe."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 8/11/94
> >
> > "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's
> >history. I mean in this century's history. But we all
> >lived in this century. I didn't live in this
> >century."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 9/15/95
> >
> > "I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward
> >more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 5/22/98
> >
> > "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any
> >Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 12/6/93
> >
> > "Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 11/30/96
> >
> > "I have made good judgments in the past. I have made
> >good judgments in the future."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr.
> >
> > "The future will be better tomorrow."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr.
> >
> > "We're going to have the best educated American
> >people in the world."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 9/21/97
> >
> > "People that are really very weird can get into
> >sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on
> >history."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr.
> >
> > "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
> >..Governor George W. Bush, Jr. to Sam Donaldson,
> >8/17/93
> >
> > "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of
> >NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a
> >part of Europe."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr.
> >
> > "Public speaking is very easy."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr. to reporters in 10/9
> >
> > "I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican"
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr.
> >
> > "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer
> >people going to the polls."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr.
> >
> > "When I have been asked who caused the riots and the
> >killing in LA, my answer has been direct & simple:
> > Who is to blame for the riots?
> > The rioters are to blame.
> > Who is to blame for the killings?
> > The killers are to blame.
> > ..George W. Bush, Jr.
> >
> > "Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in
> >terms of not having it."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 5/20/96
> >
> > "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or
> >may not occur."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 9/22/97
> >
> > "For NASA, space is still a high priority."
> >
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 9/5/93
> >
> > "Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession
> >that teach our children."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 9/18/95
> >
> > "The American people would not want to know of any
> >misquotes that George Bush may or may not make."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr.
> >
> > "We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to
> >enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have
> >made."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr.
> >
> >"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.
> >It's the impurities in our air and water that are
> >doing it."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr.
> >
> > "[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar
> >system."
> > ..Governor George W. Bush, Jr.

Unreal

THP also a "Bush"

TMS

The embarrassing, damaging pre-election gaffe many anticipated, just didn't occur. To my amazement, Dubya seemed reasonably coherent, earnest and likable in the debates.

Of course, the "Prince of America" really pulls all the strings.

TMS

crossroads

Hey at least we know he has a career on SNL when
his 4 years are over. Then it is on to the Big Screen
with Jackie Chan.

AlanF

Damn! Had tears coming outta my eyes the whole time reading this.

AlanF

Mommie Dark

I can't bring myself to be too amused by this. This cretin is supposed to represent our nation before the world!

I hope Matt & Trey use this poem in a future episode of 'That's My Bush'. Reality TV... HARHARHAR!!!!! Which one is the boob tube actor, which one is the boob?

Another case of truth being stranger than fiction...

Francois

Note to the High Priest:

Most - if not all - of the statements you attribute to Bush I or II were actually made by Dan Quayle. Bush does well enough by himself so that he doesn't need this kinda help.

Actually when you make a mistake like this, it undermines your own position: He makes linguistic gaffes - you make journalistic ones. Which is worse?

Francoise

Uncanny

Well said, Francoise.

For I did get the feeling The HighPriest might have been unwittingly stretching the truth by crediting all those gems and faux pas to just George DoubleYa.

Uncanny

TheHighPriest

Most - if not all - of the statements you attribute to Bush I or II were actually made by Dan Quayle. Bush does well enough by himself so that he doesn't need this kinda help.

Francoise,

I had no idea Dan Quayle were responsible for some of these statements, as I received them with the attribution bit already taken care of, in what can only be described as a "fun mail" from a friend.
Under no cirumstances was I trying to help Georgie he helps himself thanks for pointing it out though.

Actually when you make a mistake like this, it undermines your own position: He makes linguistic gaffes - you make journalistic ones. Which is worse?

This thread was intended I believe as a humourous one and not a journalistic one and as for my own position I'll just let my track record speak for itself. In other words if you knew me you would know that if I write something of a more serious nature I'd reference properly. What can I say? lighten up a bit, perhaps?

THP

Humor from President Georgie

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