It’s been getting pretty lively on this board of late. At the moment there is a great diversity of opinion as to how anti-social behaviour should be handled. 'Course, it’s easy when someone like YK posts his umpteenth attack on the ex’s. And we all applaud when his bluff is called and he’s told to either shut up or have his identity revealed to his local congregation accompanied by a full report on his conduct on this site.
But how do we handle people who are not so black and white in their behaviour, those who can be charming one minute and foul mouthed the next? Should we appease them? Or would direct confrontation be more suitable?
I must confess that I was once an appeaser. For years after leaving dub-dom I would try to prove to my aloof parents that I was really still a good person, I even finished up giving my 3 sons Bible names. Eventually, after a particularly galling bout of “You only have these problems because you have turned you back on Jehovah”, I railed on them both and informed them that I was a far better parent than them, because my love for my children wasn’t based on the way that they performed as witnesses. OK, they were appalled, gob-smacked even, but several weeks later they made first contact and agreed not to go into “critical parent” mode again. Confrontation worked, appeasement didn’t.
Then there’s the famous tale of Prime Minister Neville Chamberlains appeasement of Adolf Hitler, the more he appeased, the more of Europe Hitler gobbled up. Only when an astonished Adolf was faced with war being declared on him did he decide to hold back from what would of, at the time, have been an easy invasion of Britain. Once again, it was only when appeasement was binned and replaced by confrontation that progress was made.
If we turn our attention to a poster who behaves very childishly on this site, we can see that appeasement only makes his behaviour worse. Suggest getting a job, the reply is: “No-one likes me”. So that means he doesn’t have to earn a living? Say anything that he doesn’t like and the posts become littered with “F” words and insults. Some of the appeasing words that are offered up to this ne’er do well are sickening and cloying.
I’m of the opinion that when we have to deal with this sort of behaviour that a policy of appeasement is better when it’s restricted to one encouraging reply. If there’s no positive response forthcoming, it’s time to pull out, guard your heart from those who would suck out your happiness, and confront the perpetrators of misery head on.
Englishman.
..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.