JW Family Birthdays

dh

i just got an email from my mom (who's a jw) telling me that my grandma (who's roman catholic) turned 77 yesterday, she said i should call because my grandma would be happy to hear from me.

this might seem normal in a non-jw household, but it's the first time it's ever happened in ours, what struck me is that being raised a jw i'd never been told when my relatives birthday's were and conditioned not to ask.

it's been years since i left and i've never given it a second tought, but suddenly i feel pretty small for not knowing... my grandma, being catholic was the only one in my family who even acknowleded our birthdays, at one point when we were kids we weren't allowed to see our grandparents at all because they weren't jw's, it's insane.

to this day i still don't know when my mom and dad's birthdays are, i am not even 100% sure what years they were born in.

is this normal?

dh'

Sassy

It is strange that your mom suggested it when she is a JW.. but.. if your grandmother is not a JW, and you are not a practicing one, it might mean a lot to her to hear from you.

I wrote my sister who has been dfd for many years to email me the birthdates of my dad and brother and sister. Having been raised a JW I have no idea when my family who is not (or no longer) JW celebrate their birthdays.. I'm trying to catch up!

flower

I think my mom was born in April..or February..not really sure. No idea when her hubby was born. Out of my 8 siblings I know one of my brothers was born July 12, one was born on Nov 26 I think..and one sister was born at the end of december..22nd or somewhere around there. Other than that I have no clue. I can kinda guesstimate how old everyone is. My parents are like 58 and 59 i think. Somewhere around there.

Anyway...yup its normal when you have a jw history.

kj

Yep, my hubby was raised JW and he can't remember his brothers' birthdays either. I always have to remind him.

kj

blondie

In my JW family we knew each other's birthdates and ages. No need to keep it a secret. It would be weird if you didn't know your own. I had one aunt who kept it secret because she didn't want us to know how old she was; she told people she was younger. It's too sad that that it has to be someone's birthday before you would call them. I send a card to my MIL on her anniversary even though she is a widow now. I reword a plain card letting her know that my husband and I are glad that she and my FIL chose each other that day. Last year we had an old wedding photo blown up and matted and framed. She has it on the wall with all the honored family pics.

My husband says if you keep in touch with family, you remember those things; if your relationships have drifted, that information drifts too.

Blondie

dh

i think in recent years, having watched my brother and i grow up, my mom has come to realise that the way we were brought up with the false isn't all it's cracked up to be. this year was another first, she called on my birthday, didn't say happy birthday, just called to say hi, which never ever happened before.

if asked, and i've asked many times, my mom would still say she absolutely believes it, but if i ask why, usually the answer would be because of the reason she first converted way back in the 70's (because jw's had more answers than catholic priests), nothing at all to do with anything that happened since.

i think deep down she knows better now, and realises that so much about it is petty and pointless, but i could be wrong and wouldn't try to push it at the moment.

dh'

Elsewhere

Looks like your mother has it in for you! She is encouraging you to engage in wickedness... you know... the stuff that makes people have to shun you!

Doubtfully Yours

dhamah,

From this year (2004) and forward I'll make sure to acknowledge all of my immediate family's birthdays (parents, siblings and their offsprings).

Just part of my self-imposed de-programing from the org.

DY

Flowerpetal

Even though my mom was a JW since 1941 and her siblings weren't, (they are Catholic) she would always call them the day before their birthdays and at least acknowledged that they were a year older--and she would always have a nice conversation with them.

JW Family Birthdays

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