How to approach non JW relatives you have had no contact with

by GermanXJW 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  GermanXJW

  My situation is as follows: I used to be a fourth-generation-JW on my mother's side. My mother has a brother that used to attend meetings in his youth but stopped later. He has never been baptized and later married a "worldly" woman. As long as my grandmother was alive we only met when he was at my grandmother. The last time I saw my uncle's familiy was at the funeral of my grandmother more than a decade ago.
  
  There is no contact at all between my mother and her brother despite they live in the same town. The reason my mother states is that they do not have very much in common without the holidays when "worldly people" meet and his wife is told not to like the JW very much.
  
  My point is now: how can I approach a relative I have no contact with because he decided not to be a JW? To me it seems that nobody ever said "We are going to have no contact" but it just happened...
  
  Any ideas or experienced in similar situations?
  
  I already thought about sending a Christmas-Card or a birthday card. When I asked my mother about her brother's birtday she would not tell me...
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  Valis

  GJW, the card thing is a great idea. Maybe put your number in it and see what happens. I've hooked up w/my relatives that we never got to speak to before. They invited me into their homes whole heartedly. You could always just pop round to the house and say hello for a few minutes. If that goes well, then maybe you can get on w/the relationship you missed out on. If her brother even has half a brain he'll know it wasn't your fault for him not being a part of your life. Best of luck and let us know!

  SIncerely,

  District Overbeer
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  GermanXJW

  Thanks Valis (DO), but he is my mother's brother, my uncle.
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  Odrade

  Send him the Birthday card. Tell him you are sorry you don't know his actual birthday, so consider it a belated card for the last year's. Then put your # in and ask him to call with his real birthday. (That's what I would do.) And good luck. I hope you find some family. He'll probably be thrilled to have a nephew who has broken free.

  Odrade
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  Valis

  Thanks Valis (DO), but he is my mother's brother, my uncle.

  Ya ding dong...I figured that out...*LOL*

  If her brother even has half a brain he'll know it wasn't your fault for him not being a part of your life.

  I think a lot of times we fear such meetings because we've left them out of our lives for reasons we had no control over. Hopefully those that got out or were never in will show us a little compassion and understanding, at least more than our parents showed to them. Sincerely, District Overbeer
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  Mulan

  I had a similar situation in our family. Our entire family 4 or 5 generations were JW's but one of my aunts and her family never accepted it. We literally had no contact with them for most of my life. I knew my aunt and my cousins, but we didn't socialize.

  When we learned the real truth, I called them and we got together. I told them what happened, and we have been close ever since. We were able to have many get togethers with my aunt before she died 3 years ago. I still talk to my cousins (4 of them) all the time. One lives near me, but the others are out of town several hours, but they call when they come to visit their sister and exchange holiday cards and birthday cards. When my Dad had his stroke last June, they descended on me, from all over to lend support. It was great and how wonderful to have them back in my life.

  Now there are 4 members of the whole family who are still active: One aunt, her son, my mother and one of my cousin's sons.
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  garybuss

  To me it seems that nobody ever said "We are going to have no contact"

  Maybe not outloud.

  You could invite them over for a lunch. Take a little risk. Call em up.