Just another average day --
I was having an out-of-body experience and almost astral-traveled away
yesterday, so I grounded myself, did some toning and got centered with
the help of my spirit guides and then the phone rang, and sensing the
negative vibrations, I threw the I-Ching and checked my numerology
chart, nearly having a primal, but my energy was too blocked. I used
self hypnosis to go into a past life regression, but only went to age
three. I found my wounded inner child there, plus a spirit attachment
and alien implant. I thought about exorcism, but couldn't bring myself
to let go of the attachments.
So I did some bioenergetics and self-parenting, took some flower
essences and ate an organic oat bran ginseng muffin, but my inner child
wasn't feeling nurtured yet.
To fix this, I had a Rice Dream Frozen Pie, which, of course, made me
hyper, so I did the relaxation response technique I had just learned at
the Self Healing Angst Tree Defoliating Center while listening to my
subliminal tapes.
But that left me feeling depersonalized, so I did some polarity work,
foot reflexology and therapeutic touch, then rebirthed myself, and
called MoonBeam, my body worker, to make an appointment for a
Shiatsu-Reiki-Rolfing-Feldenkreis-Swedish-Japanese deep tissue massage.
Unfortunately, she flaked out and never returned my call, so I decided
to energize my crystals and do some positive imagery because all my
visualization techniques and affirmations made my space feel invaded.
It was then that I realized Mercury was retrograde, and the solar
flares were at a high intensity level. So to get empowered, I got a
psychic reading from Mother Heart Love around the issue of my
assertiveness so I could feel my radiance and have some energy for my psycho calisthenics and inversion swing before my harmonic brain wave
synergy session and sound mattress vibrational tuning.
This made me more focused for my actualization seminar, holistic
healing class and dream workshop, which in turn made me clearer for my
Gestalt behavioral cognitive transpersonal
Rechian-Jungian-Freudian-Ericksonian session at the hot springs, but my
aura was too weak for my trance channeling group, so I fasted until noon
to recharge my chakras.
At that point, I sensed my intuition was high and my cycle was focused,
so I turned on my ion generator to open up for my Neural Linguistic
Programming session.
But I needed to have my pyramid recharged before my guided
synchronicity meditation, so I got some craniosacral therapy, which
aligned me for the fire walk between my tarot card reading and my
sensory deprivation tank appointment.
But even after all that, I felt what I truly needed was a meaningful
relationship to mirror myself, so I went to my personal shaman, and then
to my guru, but they were no help, so instead I went to the Intensive
Whole Life Earth Rebirth Cosmic Expo Symposium Workshop to find someone
who really knew what was going on.
That didn't help either, so I locked myself in a calcium coated Orgone
Box and meditated until 9PM. None of it really worked for me, so I got
stoned and drank a bottle of wine.
-- and dude, then I felt so good I was even able to watch the late
News. . .
New Age Medicine
by Gadget 5 Replies latest social humour
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Gadget
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Country_Woman
I am glad that I finally read "you feel good"
for the whole: I am baffled. -
luna
That is so funny!
Well done!
Luna
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Satanus
Whew, what a day. Sometimes going straight to the white wine is best.
SS
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drawcad_1
I know people in Northern California that consider this a normal day.
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Robdar
Whew, what a day. Sometimes going straight to the white wine is best.
LOL at SS. I was going to tell him that a little ganja would have gotten him straight a lot quicker.