After many years my step father has decided to become reinstated. He has recently moved from out of state and lives very close. Growing up he and I did not have a good relationship, that had changed and we have been very close for many years. He and my mother have divorced. Both her an I have been disfellowshiped. It used to be that you could talk to your family but I found out that has changed. "dad" came to tell me that the elders informed him he could no longer assciate with me. He tried to argue that I was family, he raised my from the time I was 1 1/2 yrs, only to be told by them that I was not his family since he did not adopt me and was no longer married to my mother. I was crushed, my kids are having a hard time understanding the why. Since then I have researching information about shunning and someone mentioned petitioning to have their babtism nullified does anyone know anything about this? Has anyone been granted a nullification? I was baptised when I was young because that was what you did, by 18 I knew that life was not for me. I hate to loose someone who has been in my life for so long. Thru good and bad he was there. I would like to be able to keep our relationship going. If any one has any information please let me know.
PLEASE HELP...baptisim nullification
by sadeyez 7 Replies latest jw friends
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AnnOMaly
That is just awful! I feel for you, sadeyez!
There it is again - the elders are telling him. No allowance for conscience. Besides, you ARE family! He has been your father since you were a baby. If he has only recently been reinstated, he'll be wanting to do everything 'by the book.'
Are your children DFed? No! It is their right to see their step-grandfather and vice versa.
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w83 1/1 p. 31 Questions From Readers ***Another sort of loss may be felt by loyal Christian grandparents whose children have been disfellowshipped. They may have been accustomed to visiting regularly with their children, giving them occasion to enjoy their grandchildren. ... So things are not the same in the family. Of course, the grandparents have to determine if some necessary family matters require limited contact with the disfellowshipped children. And they might sometimes have the grandchildren visit them.
The extent to which he interprets that paragraph is up to him (I hope he will have a liberal view of the word 'necessary') - why do the grandchildren have to suffer? Apart from that, the WTS appear to have a 'tough and tender' approach to shunning. There'll be an article that is more lenient, then a few years later there'll be a hard-line one and so on, flip-flopping in severity. The last stringent directive was 2002 I think.
As for bapt. nullification - there are people more qualified than I here who'll help you, I'm sure. I hope you'll get some useful information.
All the best and WELCOME!
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sadeyez
Thank you for the thread of encouragement. My 6 yr old said to me "why can't I talk to him I am only a kid." The fact that he lives next door only makes it more difficult. My childern were born long after I was DF. Dad is doing w/ his life what he feels is best for him It just pains me greatly that we suffer.
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Odrade
oh man, that is heartbreaking. I'm sorry for you, hope your dad can see his way to continue his relationship with you somehow.
Odrade
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jgnat
So far the elders appear to be ignoring the baptism nullification letters. Probably because such a circumstance is not covered in their manual. The REAL problem is that your father will follow their advice, no matter how much it tears his heart.
He sounds like a compassionate man under it all. I suggest total honesty, heart to heart, from you to him. Say this:
My 6 yr old said to me "why can't I talk to him I am only a kid." The fact that he lives next door only makes it more difficult. My childern were born long after I was DF. Dad is doing w/ his life what he feels is best for him It just pains me greatly that we suffer.
If he still choses the KH over you, go home, have a good cry, and hope he comes around some day. -
RedhorseWoman
This will probably not be particularly encouraging for you, but I will relate my experience with the issue of baptism annulment.
My husband and I had both been inactive for quite awhile, and during that time my husband began smoking again. He had previously given it up before his baptism. We eventually determined that we wanted to re-activate ourselves, and began attending the local KH in the town to which we had just moved.
We were studying with the elders and all seemed well, but my husband began asking a lot of questions, and the elders started to get nervous. They thought he was being difficult, but, in fact, he was just trying to clarify things in his mind, since he had originally gotten baptised after only a couple of weeks of study in the Truth book, and he did it mainly so that I would date him. He never had a real understanding of what baptism meant, and he hadn't even fully understood the doctrine.
In any event, the elders began looking for something that they could use to get out of what they perceived as a bad situation, and at one of the studies, they noticed a clean ashtray that I had out on the coffee table for decoration...or for use by company. They asked pointblank if my husband was smoking, and he replied in the affirmative.
They then told him that he had 30 days to quit, or he would be disfellowshipped. I asked them about the possibility of baptism annulment because of the circumstances under which he had gotten baptised. I stressed to them that quitting smoking in 30 days would be almost impossible due to other circumstances, and that both of us were really hoping to re-activate ourselves, and a disfellowshipping would pretty much kill the whole thing. Somehow, they couldn't understand why someone who had been inactive for ten years would object to attending the Hall and being ignored for months or years.
They said that they would check into it and pray about the matter and get back to us. When they called to tell us of the JC time, I asked about the annulment, and the elder assured me that he had prayed about it and they had decided to annul the baptism. I was pretty elated about the matter, until we got to the JC...at which time they disfellowshipped my husband.
Annulment is not something they want to do under any circumstances. Perhaps your case might be different, but from our experience in this, the promise of baptism annulment was just a ploy to get us to cooperate with them in accomplishing their real plans.
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AnnOMaly
He lives next door? Then there is hope. If you have been close previously and he constantly sees the children coming and going, then despite his initial rigidity, after a time his heart will overcome the petty rules and he'll become more balanced.
You may have done this already, but it might help to expain to the children that he loves them, but some people are telling him what to do and he thinks they are representing God's way and until he realizes that what they are telling him is wrong and he can decide for himself the extent to which he can see you, you are all to be patient and kind with him - you'll all still love him anyway and be there for him.
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orangefatcat
good evening,
It is a very interesting question? I can tell you this, many years ago my Aunt had her baptism annulled because she felt that she had no idea what being baptized implies. So the bro. in the hall did some back ground work and told her that her baptism could be annulled. She though choice not to long after thier response to her, that she went ahead and was rebaptized again.
Also a family friend who was very young when she was baptised wanted it annulled as she had bee n away from the organization, and she wanted to come back with a new slate as it were and get re baptized. She did get baptised again after her first one was annulled.
I think that when a person is baptized they are told it is a vow. and they both felt that they didn't completely understand the concept of making a vow to God.
I wanted to say this , Where oh where the F***K does the WTBS tell a person they have 30 days to quit smoking or your disfellowshipped. where do they get these stupid numbers and rules from.
When I committed my sin I was told if I didn't make an appearaance or contact the elders I would be disfellowshipped in 7 days. What the hell, where the heck do they get the right to make stupid impostions on people. I hate that shark organization. They want you to sin, just so they can disfellowshipp you. I think they gloat about it. It angers me so much I could spit..., I mean what scripture text do they have t o say to a person oh you have so many days to do this or else.. I am insensed by their utter stupidity. Can you here Jesus say to the prostitute that was about to be stoned. I will give you 10 days to change your ways and we won't stone you to death until you change your ways. Or here I give all of you Jews 7days to repent and then I won't kill you. Rubbish.
I can't concieve the idiotic reasoning of the WatchTower Society.
Orangefatcat is leaving now
Before I blow up
Before I blow up