need youre input on this

kls

As many on this boad know my husband is a jw,going on 28yrs.Recently he has been missing meetings .Something is different about him,he still acts like one but the meeting dont seem to bother him as much to miss them.I am scared to read to much into this for fear of kidding myself.I am confused on what to think.Is he doing the fade? or am i just wishing.Let me know what you think . KLS

Special K

KLS...

I don't know if he is doing the fade. But, if I was in your position, I think I would be sure not to mention anything about it... just let it happen and try to make meetings nights relaxed and fun... and try to plan something of a really good evening..I'd try to be in a happy relaxed kind of mood..rent a great movie or something... etc.. But, I wouldn't say anything about the kingdom Hall meetings.. It might cause him to put his guard up, turn tail and run back to the meetings pronto.

all the best

Sincerely

Special K

I

franklin J

ask him

Country Girl

Whyn't ya ask him?

CG

Singing Man

Have you ever concidered that he may have a bad conscious and no longer feels holy moly anymore to be around all those perfect ones (in gods rightious tent, I am kidding of course).

garybuss

Hi Kls, There is a waning sense of urgency in the group led by the beginning of long term building and expansion projects of the Society. Maybe that's all. Many people like me, had a natural resistance to the JW life style that required a constant interpersonal battle to stay up to speed with the group. Eventually my boundaries were so well violated by them that quitting associating was easy. Unfortunately, I was drawn back to them because I had not yet challenged the assumptions that the claims of the group were based on.

That's why it's so important in any successful exit counseling to dismantle the assumptions. Once the assumptions are dismantled, the person is a rational thinker and not very susceptible to being a victim to another group based on the same assumptions.

It was so helpful for me to study the art of magic. Here was a magician doing illusions and it was something I had seen with my own eyes yet it plainly was not real. There were huge lessons in seeing that and understanding it. I studied the psychology of gambling casinos and I saw the benefit of shills and how they work. I studied hypnosis and the psychology of influence and persuasion. I studied marketing and rapport and closes and technique and it became easy for me to understand how I had been managed.

Some people like my sons and my father like being told every move to make without having to think. They have weathered setbacks and disconfirmation with the resolve of a runner and plain wrong doesn't affect them in a way that would allow them to admit their own error and question their own core beliefs based on assumptions. These are the company men. They stay loyal in the face of error and mistreatment of others. They are the mistreaters.

I hope you and your husband have a good life. Rapport is a fragile thing. If you can't share his life (as a bookseller) with him, maybe you could ask for his permission to have a life of your own and then go and live that life. That's what many of us have done and often our spouses have decided to join us. Best wishes, GaryB

kls

Thanks for youre thoughts all. Some of you have asked to ask him. I know what his answer would be,he would say no he is not fadding. If he is, he would not admit it to himself let alone me.He knows i am the biggest APOSTATE that i am very proud to be. KLS

Been there

Maybe you could just tell him you noticed he's been missing some meetings and you are concerned about him. Say you just want to know if he is okay or is there something wrong. I wouldn't ask if he is fading though. Maybe it would make a window for him to express a concern if he has any. Who better to ask then a proud apostate.

Good luck. I hope he is having doubts.

orangefatcat

Maybe hubby is finally seeing that things are not like they should be in the Organization like they once were. Maybe he hates going alone and wants you with him at meetings.

He could be depressed about something or going through the male menopause.

Or maybe he is seeing that the end is not happening and he is just tiring out from all the empty teachings.

If I was you, I would make a special dinner something he really enjoys, and a nice romantic setting and then you could express the fact that youv'e noticed he has been missing meeting and ask him if something happened at the KH. If he clams up, change the subject and maybe later on he will tell you his feelings or what is troubling him.

Wishing you the very best

Love Orangefatcat.

Nathan Natas

Maybe he is starting to grow waery of the unfulfilled expectations, and that is great!

You don't need to talk to him and confront the issue head-on - you can be subtle... don't even mention it.

You can "help" him by seeing to it that his time away from the meetings is more comfortable, pleasant and fulfilling than the meetings could ever be. You may "win him back" from the WTS.

need youre input on this

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