Women's Humor

by Meg 3 Replies latest social humour

  • Meg
    Meg

    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

    And they say blondes are dumb...

    _____________________

    A couple is lying in bed.. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"

    The woman says, "I'll miss you..."

    _______________________

    "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

    "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied

    ____________________


    He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly.

    She said - Well, you succeeded.

    ____________________


    He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

    She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror

    ___________________


    Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

    A: A rumor

    _____________________


    A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish.

    The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

    The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

    Gotta love that fairy!

    ______________


    AND THE BEST ONE YET...






    * She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

    * Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

    * Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

    * Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

    * And her husband is on the back of the milk carton

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    Why are most blonde jokes one liners??

    so the men can understand them too..

    (Oooops.. Sassy sneaks out of this thread!)

  • worldlygirl
    worldlygirl

    One saggy breast to another: "If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!"

  • little witch
    little witch

    Meg and wordly,

    LOLOLOL

    Thanks for the laughs! I needed that!

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