Is it because setting the date and arranging everything makes it seem real? Its a natural part of getting engaged and ultimatley married, mummy just wants to make sure you are going ahead with it and not messing her daughter around.
Men dont understand that this is something that a girl plans all her life with her mum, so the plans are made before the man comes into the picture. Once the engagement happens the wheels are set in motion and you cant stop it. What I see now is that less emphasis should be put on a one day event and more on what your relationship is like and whether it has any strength and staying power. It takes a moment to say I do but a life time to live up to that statement.
Just be clear with your fiance and her mother. Start off with lets talk about this....I love you and ultimatley want to get married but I dont want to rush. Then look at the mother and father and say I respect that you want the best for your daughter so I want to make sure I am the best for your daughter and we need time to build a good relationship without the pressure of a wedding at the moment. We will have the day you want but if I feel pressured and rushed then the day wont be as good for me so here is what I want to suggest...........
That way you gain respect from the parents and you are all clear about what it is that you want to happen. Dont let it all just happen to you, but do it in a respectful manner, talk to the future in laws, communicate. Afterall, after the day is over the new life with a new partner begins and you have to deal with that after for the rest of your days together. The actual day is over in a day, costs an absolute fortune, is the focus of everything...everybodies lives gets placed around the day and you often hear the phrase...after the wedding.... why?????? It s just one day, one event over in 30 mins...
take control now.........if you are feeling like this after 4 days what is it going to be like later, discuss and dont be dictated to.........
