Random Ramblings :(

by El Kabong 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  El Kabong

  I haven't been here for a while, but I don't know where else I could let this out (so to speak).

  I just got back from a funeral from someone I only met a few times. The person was the Mother of my Daughter's friend. But, the times I met her, she was a very kind, loving and friendly person. The type of person who would make you feel like you've known them for years.

  As I was sitting there, I started reflecting on the purpose of life. I looked around and saw some children. Their eyes so big and full of wonder. We grow up, we might get married, we work. Then what? All the years dealing with the struggles of life just for it to end with some sort of sickness that causes pain. Cancer, stroke, heart disease. Is this all we have to look forward to?

  Last week. I got a phone call that my Mother had a stroke. She was at home and suffered her stroke in the morning. She lay on the floor for most of the day unable to get up. Until her neighbors noticed that her car was still there and she didn't answer her phone. They called for help and she was found on the floor. She's still in the hospital in critical condition. Her left side is paralyzed. My mom is 80 years old. She was born and lived her childhood in Italy. She survived there during World War 2, Mussolini, the German Army. After the war, she married an American GI (Pop) and moved to the States where she was basically a stranger in a strange land where everyone spoke a strange language. She's lived in the States ever since.

  My parents never had much money. My father worked 2 jobs most of the time. They lived paycheck to paycheck. Never really had any of life's luxuries. Finally, after retirement, they bought their first house out in the country. It's a small house, but with their kids grown, it was just perfect for them. They had a couple of good years in there. Then my father get's sick and starts going downhill fast. Eventually he died in 1999. My mom lived alone since then. I don't think she will be able to live in that house ever again.

  Is this all we have to look forward to? It just doesn't seem fair. I know it's a harsh reality of life. The pastor at the funeral today made a point that eventually this (pointing at the coffin) is where all of us is going to wind up. It doesn't matter who we are or what we do for a living, what we have, what kind of car we drive. This is the reality of life.

  Sorry for the rant. I'm just sad right now and I don't know if I'm even making any sense. Thanks anyway for reading this.

  All my love,

  El K
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  stillajwexelder

  Thankyou for posting and I am very sorry for your loss
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  outnfree

  (((((((El Kabong))))))))),

  I am sorry for the loss of your daughter's friend's Mother. She sounds like a lovely woman.

  I am also sorry for your distress at your own mother's stroke. My mother had three before finally passing away from leukemia. She, too, lived on her own for years, and, in fact, insisted on doing so even after the second stroke when she should not have returned home alone.

  Having gone through the dying process with my mother, I believe I know the purpose of life, and it's so simple, yet so difficult to actually do: practice loving others well. All the world's great religions teach us the importance of loving our neighbors (and loving God). Many who are not religious at all want to be treated with love and kindness, and so teach their children to do the same by modeling that behavior.

  I believe we are immortal and that we do come back to Earth to learn values such as patience, honesty, kindness, stick-to-it-tive-ness, charity, selflessness and love. And while the minister was right that we all end up by physically departing our earthly bodies, it is NOT our end. The experiences I shared at my mother's dying convinced me that there exists another place where we live on and where we are healed of our earthly pains and sorrows and experience JOY. Fear not, El K, your mother will have her reward whenever she passes from this world to the next.

  Hugs,

  Brenda
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  El Kabong

  Thank you Stillajwex.....

  and ((((((outnfree))))), those were most beautiful words. ((((((Brenda)))))). Thank you.
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  alias

  El K,

  I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Even though you only met this woman a few times, her life touched yours in a wonderful way. Through her death, she's helping you to reassess some things in your own life. Experiences like this do put it all into perspective.

  The pastor at the funeral today made a point that eventually this (pointing at the coffin) is where all of us is going to wind up. It doesn't matter who we are or what we do for a living, what we have, what kind of car we drive. This is the reality of life.

  A sobering thought indeed. Which is why we have to give meaning to our lives each day and focus on what is important to us, and take care of ourselves. Discovering what is beneath the veneer of this world and leaving behind something of value for others to learn and grow with is about all we can hope for. I know if I can do that, my life was worth it.

  Peace to you,

  alias
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  El Kabong

  Thank you Alias. I appreciate your response.

  And, thanks again to the couple of people who responded to this thread. Like I said in my initial post, I don't know if I made any sense at all.

  I'm off to make the trip to NJ to see Mom. She's now in a rehabilitation hospital. I dread going up there to see her. I really wish I could stay home.
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  El Kabong:

  I am very happy for your parents that they were able to buy that small house in the country that was "just right for them." I know they didn't enoy it long but they did have a couple of years there and I hope they were happy ones. When our parents age it's just hard not to look at them and see them as youthful parents, lively & vibrant. It doesn't make it easier to go to a funeral and have the clergyman remind us that we are all going to die. I am crying soft, small tears for you, your parents, your mother, my mother and father. My mother passed on in 1994 at 62, just a shell of her former self. My dad is fading but he still writes me e-mails and complains when I don't answer quickly. He is going to be 74 soon. What a profound and moving thing life and love is.

  I am sorry that I didn't see this thread when it posted. It's moved me and touched my soul to read of the history of your parents and your sadness. I could see and hear your mother laughing and skipping as a child in Italia. I could see your folks in their little home.

  I really hope you will stay and continue to post about Italy and Italian Americans and your thoughts and views.

  Love,

  Heather