Top-Secret White House Employee Handbook Stolen by Traitorous Liberal Publisher!
Emergency Statement by Landover Baptist Pastor, Deacon Fred
My dear Landover Baptist Church members, I am writing to you today to address a matter of National and Eternal Security. Our President informed me this morning that a turncoat in his administration stole a copy of the White House Inc. Employee Handbook from the White House Cigar Lounge and sold it to some Jewish New York publisher. At first, I thought this was almost too much to believe, but it is true! This indiscreetly "off message" and otherwise enjoyable book has fallen into the hands of the enemy. I am told that copies of it can be found in every major book store in the country! Especially disturbing to True Christians is the fact that this book contains sensitive information that could affect the reputation of our President's cloud dwelling friend, and personal Savior, Jesus Christ!
Sec. 1. Martial law is in effect. Your regular scheduled Constitution and Bill of Rights are being pre-empted, possibly permanently, until such time as all Republican-voting patriots have used the tax rebate money the President is borrowing from their grandchildren to go out and scoop up every last illicit copy of the White House Inc. Employee Handbook, thereby preventing their ever falling into liberal, terrorist-coddling hands and blasting down the carefully-crafted illusion of integrity and competence of this beloved White House of Cards!
Sec. 2. This order is effective on 12:01 a.m. eastern daylight time on February 3, 2004.
Sec. 3. This order has been transmitted to the Congress and published in the Federal Register only with all the sensitive stuff stricken.
PASTOR DEACON FRED
LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH,
February 3, 2004.
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"A hilarious, dead-on parody. Brilliantly subversive and fearlessly offensive, if ever a book was going to be banned under the Patriot Act, this would be it!"
- Daniel Kurtzman: Editor,
About.com Political Humor Review
About the Author: The same website that invoked Dick Cheney's wrath and a First Amendment furor, Whitehouse.org boasts over 1 million readers per month and seven Dot Comedy awards for best Internet political humor. This is the first book based on the site.
Book Description: The talented creators of four of the Internet's most popular parodies: whitehouse.org, LANDOVERBAPTIST.ORG, BettyBowers.org, and Chickenhead.com – joined at the hip to produce the one book that is guaranteed to have Capitol Hill (and the whole country!) rolling in the aisles all election year long!
Equal parts shrewd business lampoon and outrageous political send-up, this is wickedly astute satire at its finest – funny and gutsy, with a frightening, yet familiar ring of that oft-forgotten thing called truth. Welcome to The White House Inc., patriotic worker bee – you picked the winning team!
| In Fine Bookstores Everywhere on 2/3/04 Order Yours Now @ Amazon.com Barnes & Noble Booksense.com |
| MORE INFORMATION: On Sale: February 3, 2004 A Plume Original Trade Paperback Price: $14.00 Contact: Sarah Melnyk, Publicist sarah.melnyk–AT–us.penguingroup.com |