My mom, a JW, sent this to me. Some of these are kind of cute.
fader
3-year-old, Reese: "Our Father, Who does art in
heaven, Harold is His name." " Amen"
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A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you
can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm
having a real good time like I am."
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A Sunday school class was studying the Ten
Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one.
The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it
was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
"Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's
wife."
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After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the
car. His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he
wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted
to stay with you guys."
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I had been teaching my three-year old daughter,
Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at
bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the
prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened
with pride as she carefully enunciated each word,
right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into
temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail.
Amen."
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..and one particular four-year-old prayed, "And
forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who
put trash in our baskets."
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A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they
were on the way to church service, "And why is it
necessary to be quiet in church? One bright little
girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel
were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang,
and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had
enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in
church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See
those two men standing by the door?
They're hushers."
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A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin,
5, Ryan,3. The boys began to argue over who would get
the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity
for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He
would say, 'Let my brother have the
first pancake, I can wait.'" Kevin turned to his
younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
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A father was at the beach with his children when the
four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and
led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the
sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied. The boy
thought then said, "Did God throw him back down?"
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A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table,
she turned to their six-year-old daughter - "Would you
like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to
say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy
say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head
and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these
people to dinner?"
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It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat,
five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a
sitter. When the family returned home, they were
carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what
they were for. "People held them over Jesus' head as
he walked by," his older brother explained.
"Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed. "The one Sunday
I don't go, He showed up!"
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One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was
preaching the children's sermon, he reached into his
bag of props and pulled out an egg. He pointed at the
egg and asked the children, "What's in here?"
"I know!" a little boy! exclaimed. "Pantyhose!"
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The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can
you support a family?"
The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was
just planning to support your daughter. The rest of
you will have to fend for yourselves."
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A little boy in church for the first time watched as
the ushers passed around the offering plates. When
they came near his pew, the boy said loudly, "Don't
pay for me Daddy. I'm under five."
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During my brother's wedding, my mother managed to keep
from crying until she glanced at my grandparents. My
grandmother had reached over to my grandfather's
wheelchair and gently touched his hand. That was all
it took to start my mother's tears flowing.
After the wedding, Mom went over to my grandmother and
told her How that tender gesture triggered her
outburst. "Well, I'm sorry to ruin your moment,"
Grandmother replied, "but I was just checking to see
if he was still alive."
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"Oh, I sure am happy to see you," the little boy said
to his grandmother on his mother's side. "Now maybe
Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."
The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" she
asked.
"I heard him tell Mommy," the little boy answered,
"that he would climb the walls if you came to visit."