The Watchtower's Hope For Mankind (song parody)

by new light 7 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  new light

  Hi all,

  For some reason that horrible death march song #23 was in my head. You know the one....Dark days are here, man lives in fear... Then it breaks into that ridiculous "But the bible gives us a reason for cheer." I figured the best way to deal with it was to give it some new lyrics that actually made sense. If you want 'em, here they are.

  23 The Watchtower's Hope for Mankind

  1 Free thought is here. Witnesses fear that their kids won't swallow what they're taught

  to follow. Loving their dreams of joining teams that leave no time for ministry. But the

  Watchtower gives us a reason for cheer that our children will view their schoolmates with

  fear. From their minds will be gone the thoughts that are clear. Armageddon will be something

  they'll hold dear.

  2 Worldlings are pleased with charity They don't put in hours unloading Watchtoers. What

  good's it for feeding the poor when they don't place the magazines? But the

  Watchtower defines what is a good deed Stuffing poeple's porches with old kingdom

  seed. We don't really care if they bother to read. 'Cause that was the end of the

  territory.

  3 Unbiased thought people are taught is the way of wisdom Our campaign has

  missed 'em. Filling their minds with thoughts sublime Satan leads them by the

  hand. But the Watchtower builds us a white picket fence that we cower behind and

  take our defense from the devil's poison of independence and the horrors resulting from

  common sense.
• 

  SC_Guy

  lol.. funny. I was singing it too.. hehe.
• 

  gitasatsangha

  very good
• 

  ThiChi

  LOL!!! I'm rolling.... The WT needs a song about "hope" for all the many Disfellowshipped out there (and you know who you are...). It can be titled: "Awaiting Reinstatement." Any thoughts? We need some words.....
• 

  LyinEyes

  OMG THAT is sooooo funny!! and it is right on, so true....lol.

  But how do you remember the song numbers,,,,,,geesh,,,,?? I must have blocked alot of of my memory, I have only been out about 2 years,,,,life long witness,,,,goes way back to the pink song book. Yet I can't remember the song numbers for anything.

  I guess the trauma of those songs caused me to repress the awful memories.....

  Write some more, write some more!!!!!!!!
• 

  LyinEyes

  Remember the song "Make the truth your own"............make some lyrics for that one.

  especially the part where it says,,,,,," if your body members you expose ,,,,,,you make know ...that the truth is ... shown"........hehe,,,,, it went something like that right????
• 

  new light

  I'm thumbing through the ol' song book now. Some of the titles are really funny by themselves. Well, funny and disturbing

  "Loyally Submitting to Theocratic Order" (or else!)

  "The Shulammite Remnant" (Has anyone actually heard of these people? What happened to the rest of them?)

  "God's Warriors Are Advancing" (Can't you just feel the love?)

  "Balsam in Gilead" (WTF?)
• 

  freydi

  http://www.caic.org.au/jws/humour/violets.htm
  
  WATCHTOWER & AWAKE SONG
  (tune of Sweet Violets)
  by Dale Baker
  
  There once was an elder who stood at my door,
  He said I was wicked, my wife was a- ( )
  apostate and both of us might just as well
  resign from the Watchtower and go straight to ( )
  bed without dinner for doubting their word,
  that everything God said was written-in the
  
  Watchtower an' Awake...
  5 cents a copy...
  If you don't believe it you surely will die,
  Don't miss an issue of Watchtower an' Awake.
  
  
  I've gone to the meetings since I was a lad,
  but t'wasn't till later I learned I'd been ( )
  spending my life in a rat-race of works,
  thinking that all other Christians were ( )
  very nice people, though in Satan's power,
  who'd only be saved if they'd just read the
  
  Watchtower an' Awake...
  4 bits a copy
  Thank Jimmy Swaggert we now give 'em free,
  We pay no taxes on Watchtower an' Awake.
  
  
  In 'Seventy-five, they expected the end,
  A promise so certain that we should de-( )
  lay all our pleasures and put life on hold,
  forget about pensions, we'd never get ( )
  weary of preaching, 'cause we knew for sure,
  that what God confided they'd put in the
  
  Watchtower an' Awake...
  Announcing God's Kingdom.
  If it's revised, we'll keep you advised,
  Keep up to date with the Watchtower an' Awake.
  
  
  In 'Seventy-nine some in Brooklyn did get
  in trouble for reading and not knowing ( )
  that it was bad to read Bibles at home.
  For soon you'd be rabid and your mouth would ( )
  start telling others the facts from God's Word,
  instead of the present truth found in the
  
  Watchtower and Awake...
  Read every issue.
  Don't criticize what you read with your eyes,
  Keep in lock-step with the Watchtower an' Awake.
  
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