I mean seriously, do they actually have to have a chaperone?
Yep! Age makes no difference. Maybe they might just get away with a little more than teenagers, but that'd be a local/individual thing. Chances are they'd be on exactly the same footing.
Just being seen to have been alone in a house, regardless of how long, is a big problem... If it was overnight, it'd be deemed they had sex.
And who's to say if they do go out alone or on a trip together if they both agree to do it secretly? Would someone actually squeal on them if found out?
Assuming were talking normal loyal consciencious JW's who 'fear being disloyal to Jehovah'? ... Well, that just dosn't happen, either going away together or agreeing to a sinful secret like that.
And yes, they'd be squeeled in a heartbeat. It'd be a big local scandle. Just the suggestion of going away or keeping the secret would be big trouble.
Also, if they can't actually date whomever , whenever, without the intent of marriage, what happens if it doesn't work out with the first person? Are they counselled to make it work?
They are supposed to get to know each other well in group/congregational settings before dating. If they get a reputation for being frivilous (sp?) regarding the feelings of the opposite sex (yes, they talk like that), they'll be counselled for sure. But it's not like, one date = engagement or anything that extreme.
And yea, what about the sex? Can you really stop a mature relationship from going there?
Yes you can ... aparently!! They're really strict on all that regardless of age. That's where all the other rules come from. It's assumed that older non-virgins have done it all before, so may not have as much of a mental barrier to having sex than younger people might.
Also, is there any time frame concerning how long you should date before you become engaged? married?
No, but the assumption is that the longer it goes on the more likley you are to be overtaken by passion and 'fall into sin'... better to get a move on... Also, if it's taking a long time maybe there's no intent for marriage on one party which is holding up the other party and other singles (they think and talk like that)... but there are no formal timelimits.
Still, if there are no 'special curculmstances'... from meeting to being married... 6-9 months isn't rare, <18 months is common, and more than 3 years is a little unusual. 5 or 6 years would be a novelty.
I apologize if I sound too curious , but it is really hard for me to understand it all.
You'll find a lot of macarbe curiosity here... mosty from people (like me) who can't understand it all now... even though they grew up with it all being 'inculcated into their hearts' :-)
Cheers, Max
