Question: Let it sit or take it and run?

dustyb

Ok, i was talking to my g/f today and she said that she needed to get away for awhile, move to california with her cousin and stuff because she couldn't stand being at her house anymore. whats even more is that she said that its getting to where she doesn't want to get up for service and she doesn't want to go to meetings anymore and she thinks she's becoming "spiritually weak". So she wants to move to california to see if that'll "help" her in her current state of weakness. i told her all the congregations are the same as they are anywhere else....boring and controlling. so, here comes my question, should i take it and run with it, or let her see for herself that all the JW's are about is what she's experiencing here....?? Answers?

Edited:

btw, i'm supporting her in any decision she makes. i'm just trying to save her some time by going and wasting it at the kingdom hall in hopes that it'll help her "get spiritually strong" when its just the idea of the WTS burning out in her....

Edited 2:

the only reason she doesn't want to go to california is because of me. i'm the only reason she's staying (thats how miserable her life is at her house). no she doesn't get encouragement at the KH because they're hypocritical bastards...you don't put out and you get smashed into the ground....

Maybe i haven't explained it so well, so http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/66844/1.ashx is the link to the topic explaining it a bit better (or probably not..)

jgnat

This is an abused person trying to run out of her own skin. She might need to get away to find out. True, the pressure might be more tolerable away from the parents. Support her.

joannadandy

Cramming anything down her throat when she is feeling vulnerable is not going to help. You have to let her make her own choices...if you force something on her and she regrets it later, she will look to you and lay the blame at your feet.

Be there for her, listen to her concerns and supliment it with your "experiences", but handing her Crisis of Conscience probally won't do her much good at this stage of the game.

Xena

Is her cousin a dub too? Just wondering...I know for my part whenever I moved away from family it was a lot easier to miss meetings & service without them there constantly monitering that stuff. If she moves it might make it easier to drift...if the cousin isn't a real strict JW that is...

dustyb

her cousin in cali is a dub as well as her family. but they aren't like the typical family....uhm, its hard to say what they're like, but i was told that they're laid back..... i'm not going to cram anything down her throat. i told her that i support her decision if she wants to go to california, i just told her that KH's are the same everywhere....

Puternut

Dusty,

If you really care about her, you need to give her some space. If you are supportive, that is good, but not good enough. She needs time to sort it all out for herself. Yes the congregations are the same where ever you go. And she needs to be in a environment that is 'her' comfort zone. You both are young, and she is still pressured by thoughts of others. In time she will find out for herself, as to what she wants. She has a good head on her shoulders. I do hope that the people in California, will respect her wishes too. There is nothing more frustrating than being pressured to go to meetings. But IF she decides to stay with the borg, and you are not, remember that you will have new found problems on your hand. I think everyone needs to find out for themselves what decisions they want to make for themselves. And you need to respect her wishes either way. Regardless......

Puternut

Nathan Natas

She'll go out to California and hook up with some bronzed surfer god, and she'll never worry again about what the WTS wants from her.

shamus

More like she'll go out there for emotional support and come back all rejuvinated.

Gee, I thought that the congregation was supposed to build a person up, LOL!

Nosferatu

Ok, i was talking to my g/f today and she said that she needed to get away for awhile, move to california with her cousin and stuff because she couldn't stand being at her house anymore.

Not sure on what you're feeling because of this whole thing, but it almost sounds like she wants to get away from you, since you're the "bad influence" in her life. It sounds like she sees the root of her spiritual weakness being you, and she's trying not to hurt your feelings by saying she hates her house, and she needs to get some encouragement down in california. Why doesn't she get encouragement from others in the hall?

Just another opinion on this.

Let her do as she wishes. It may end up being better for the both of you in the long run.

Purple

If its gonna stick and mean anything, she has to see it for herself. If you force it she may end up resenting you or blaming you. If she can see it for herself then the leaving and the adjusting will be better and you will be there for her...her prince charming that always stands by her no matter what. Hope it all works out well for the both of you and she can break free.

Question: Let it sit or take it and run?

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