To the lurkers: On the Outside of the "Spiritual Paradise" and Looking In

by Lonestar13 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lonestar13
    Lonestar13

    To all lurkers, doubters, and curious ones. You must be here for a reason, and that is why this post is dedicated to you. (And everyone else too)

    I have attended a few meetings after being disfellowshipped. Yes, although the act of df?ing was taken, I am not ?the disfellowshipped girl?, the plague, a loathsome disease that can be caught if I dare touch the microphone and pass it to someone sitting in the back row with me. I am a human being, a person, I am who I am. The onus is on you to figure that out for yourselves instead of letting a group of men influence your view of me. Yes, I am asking you to think for yourselves, something of course that the elders will not appreciate, but nonetheless you will be happier for it.

    In my somewhat ?birds eye view? from the back of the kingdom hall, the row of banishment, I have come to notice things that I did not notice from the other side. You are the ones that are in, the ones who claim to have the ?spiritual paradise?, the ones who would never do anything to squander that precious privilege and end up in the back row with ?people like me?. So my question: Why don?t you look like it? According to the platform speakers, I am the one that?s supposed to be unhappy, long faced and downtrodden. However I look around and see some of the unhappiest looking people I have ever encountered. It makes me wonder, is this what you really want?

    You may be wondering what does a d?fed person do now that they have ?cut themselves off from gods congregation?? Simply, I still get up in the morning, shower and go to work just like I did before. However the time freed up from not going in field service, and maintaining ?friendships? with people whom I had not much in common with in the first place, is spent on improving myself. I read more of what you would call ?secular? books, exercise more, and challenge myself to a greater degree. I am teaching myself another language, and I will be going to college (finally!). I am less critical and judgmental of others and because of that I have met some fantastic people, people that I would not have known otherwise if I continued to submit to the jw practice of labeling. Oh but according to the org, I should be doing all the things that ?worldly people? do. Perhaps that is what you expect when you pass me on the street, afraid to look me in the eye. I thought I was the one who is supposed to ?hang my head in shame?? Why are you doing that? Perhaps it is because you have searched for yourselves and could not find any scriptural basis for your actions?

    Perhaps?

    It is now to the point of intrigue that I attend meetings. I observe and take notes of what I see and hear. I may very well put my observations completely in writing one day.

    LS

  • shamus
    shamus

    Oh no; doesn't sound like a cult to me, eh....

    I think that they're the happiest unhappiest people I have ever met in my life.

  • Lonestar13
    Lonestar13

    no ambition and no personal goals. only "spiritual goals" which never seem to be attained with the constant "do more do more" bashing. Makes for very unhappy people indeed!!!

  • dustyb
    dustyb

    btw lonestar, don't forget, you are already dead to them... and they are the only ones who can bring back or "ressurect" your life...

  • Puternut
    Puternut

    Lonestar,

    I know how you feel about have to do more and nore. When I was the PO, I could never do enough. I went to several elderschools, and found them to be one of the most discouraging meetings in my life. With my full time job, two teenagers, talks, sheperding calls, fieldservice, meetings, there was just not enough time in the day to accomplish everything that needed to be done. Check out this thread : http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/65376/1010998/post.ashx#1010998

    I was totally burned out and unhappy.

    Puternut

  • Lonestar13
    Lonestar13

    Puternut: What a schedule of "theocratic activity" there!!!! And to think that its never enough. not encouraging at all. As a pioneer I faced the same task. How can I get all of this done, and still work so as not to be an "unnecessary burden"? I realized that I could not so I gave up pioneering, much to the disappointment of family. But it was the same family members that claimed I was doing "nothing to help out around the house" Years of discouragement set in after that.

    Dustyb: How could I forget about that! Yes I am dead to them, but they are the spiritual deadbeats, feeding themselves on a very UNbalanced "theocratic" diet.

  • itsallgoodnow
    itsallgoodnow

    you're right they are the unhappy ones. my family is a bunch of miserable jerks, driving each other crazy. Not me, though. not anymore.

    Remember that even though you're in the back row, some of the people there are really good people, just misled. Maybe they will find their way. Maybe they even know it's a cult and feel trapped (me). Maybe they don't hate you. I never expected a disfellowshipped person to be ashamed. I secretly wish I was disfellowshipped and wonder why in the world the df'd one was back in the KH, but never tried to look down my nose at them.

    I've thought about starting a novel or something now, too. Before the big DF happens. That might be pretty good self-therapy.

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