Top Tips!

by Gadget 7 Replies latest social humour

  • Gadget
    Gadget

    1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

    2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    3. Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply peeing in the sink.

    4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

    5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

    6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

    7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.

    And remember these simple rules of life:

    1. You need only two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

    2. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "You are right."

    3. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

    4. Never pass up an opportunity to go potty.

    5. If You Woke up Breathing, Congratulations! You have another chance!

    And Finally... Be Really Good To Your Family and Friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan!

  • pudd
    pudd

    very good gadget!!

  • Faraon
    Faraon

    Gadget,

    4. Never pass up an opportunity to go potty.

    And Finally... Be Really Good To Your Family and Friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan!

    I think that the last advice will be very helpful if you follow number 4

  • Aztec
    Aztec
    5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

    Good one Gadget! I may have to actually try that one of these days..LOL!

    ~Aztec

  • freedom96
    freedom96

    Those are great!

  • Special K
    Special K

    thanks gadget......I needed a little laughter today.

    sincerely

    Special K

  • calamityjane
    calamityjane

    LMAO.

    thanks

    cj

  • seeitallclearlynow
    seeitallclearlynow

    Great Gadget! A real hoot!

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit