The Raping of a Witness

by Blueblades 4 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Blueblades

  This is taken from, Diane Wilson's book," Awakening of a JEHOVAH;S WITNESS.page 259.

  She goes on to say:"Perhaps too few people know about the emotional suffering that the Watchtower society has caused women through its damaging views of rape I personally experienced the terror of being raped..Through poetry I express the pain and turmoil that I felt as a result of the Watchtower Society's fluctuating teachings about rape.

  The Raping of a Witness

  A Man

  Hands of steel. Flashing eyes. Agrip of iron.

  I can't believe this is happening to me.

  Feelings of unreality.

  This is just a dream.

  "Don't touch me!"

  Words

  Screaming to be spoken

  Yet

  I cannot speak.

  Captive.

  The pawn of a man's twisted desires.

  Terror.

  Will he kill me?

  I can't move.

  Petrified

  as if made of stone.

  Clothing

  lying in a heap.

  Whose are they?

  Frightened. Vunerable. Exposed.

  Revulsion.

  Thrown on to a table

  my body

  like

  some rag doll.

  My dignity shattered

  Everything

  is

  Far away removed

  cloudy hazy

  blurry

  unreal.

  I'm not really here.

  Numb.

  A body

  powerful, heavy

  like lead

  pressing down on me.

  I can't breathe!

  Helpless. Terrified Powerless

  I can't scream!

  When will this be over?

  Silence

  Survival

  Staggering

  Scared Stunned

  Shock

  Shame

  Secret.

  This isn't really happening.

  It's just an illusion.

  Deceived

  Defeated

  Disoriented.

  Dazed Dizzy

  Distant

  Denial

  Damned

  Violated

  Used Abused

  Tossed aside

  like so much chaff.

  Alive!

  Feeling dead

  for

  Jehovah

  has left me.

  Feeling dirty

  I bathe

  but

  I'll never be clean,

  for

  I couldn't scream.

  Guilt

  I couldn't stop him.

  Depressed. Distressed.

  No one will understand.

  Despondent

  Alone

  Despair Dread

  Defenseless

  Powerless. Paralyzed.

  God doesn't understand a woman's fear?

  How could he be so unjust!

  Confused Despondent

  Shattered faith.

  ANGER

  at

  The God of The Watchtower

  for

  considering

  threats and force

  from a rapist

  as

  requests to commit fornication.

  ANGER

  at

  The God of The Watchtower

  for

  leaving me forever

  because

  I was sexually attacked

  and

  I did not scream.

  ANGER

  at

  The God of The Watchtower

  for

  judging me guilty of illicit passion

  when

  I was the victim

  of crime

  ANGER

  at

  The God of The Watchtower

  for

  asserting

  the absence of a scream

  changes

  terror

  into lust

  ANGER

  at

  The God of The Watchtower

  for

  His Uncompassionate Heart

  that

  condemns me

  to

  eternal death.

  Had I committed "the unforgivable sin"?

  I WAS RAPED.

  This was considerd to be absolute truth from God!
• 

  KKLUV155

  My heart aches for the horrible things these women have endured.
• 

  Xandria

  The very reality of the WTS. Some how I feel the poem is a cleansing of feelings, a crystallization. Speak out, definitely about re-victimization of a victim. It is time they are responsible for their crime of spirit rape.

  X.
• 

  stillajwexelder

  It is just awful that victims are made out to be the guilty ones -- same with child molestation --it is just to awful to think about -- words are failing me
• 

  1VTHokie

  That was a very sad, shocking poem. It was also very beautiful! ...words from the soul. It makes me very angry when I think of the WT's inhuman cruel policies.

  I was never raped, but I am reminded of something a pioneer sister (I hate using their terms ) said to me when I was 15: she told me that I should be careful not to ever do anything that would excite a brother () so much that he would rape me. She said that men, when excited, cannot control themselves, and that it would be my fault. This "sister" is the one who studied with me, so you can imagine all of the garbage that she had me believing (double !!).

  Rita