by desib77 8 Replies latest jw friends
I have a friend who had her mother pass away this week. The horrible thing is that her father passed away a couple weeks prior to her mother and her aunt also passed away last month. I feel horrible for her. I can't even imagine how tough that must be. How can I help her to make it through this?
Desi
Just be there for her.
She may want to cry, talk about her family, talk about what she is going through and that's ok. You don't need to possess any wisdom just empathy, which you've already shown, and the willingness to be there with her. Listen. Or do simple things, dishes, vacuum, groceries. But just being there is what she needs. She'll know you care.
Hugs to you for being sympathetic,
Joy
And don't forget about her in the months to come. Each milestone (holidays -- especially Mother's Day, birthdays, etc.) will bring up the pain. Just let her know you're thinking of her, take her to lunch, anything to let her know you're there for her. It will mean a lot.
You're a sweet person! I'm glad we met!
Nina
Yes Joy's advice is good... Just ask her "If there is ANYTHING I can do let me know,cos I know this is so difficult for you & I dont know what to say or do"
Some one said that to me in my loss,I thought it was just what I needed to hear.
Thanks, everyone. I hate feeling so bad for someone but feeling helpless. There isn't anyway to fix it but I will do my best to help her through it.......
When my Mum and Dad died, a friend, though not one of my closest, just turned up-everyday.... for three weeks!
She'd just pop in in the evening and say hi and make me a cup of tea or open the condolence cards for me that I could'nt open..put flowers in water that i'd left still wrapped.......it was'nt until I looked back that I realised how much that helped me-justhaving someone care that much.I'd say don't ask-because I did'nt know what I wanted...if you know her well enough-just be there.
((((You sound like my friend)))))
You have received some great advice- the most important being, "just be there". The last thing she needs is for someone to say. "Call me if I can do anything". How many of us will do that? We don't want to inconvenience our friends and neighbors. Let her talk when she is ready and be a friend.
You are an asset to her and her grieving process.
give her a call just to say you are thinking about her and would like to get together for lunch; dinner; whatever, when she is ready to go out.
Drop off a meal and a bottle of liquor ( both big items during a time like this). Letting her know that you care and are supportive will be remembered.
Frank
You have gotten a lot of great advice from many already. You are so sweet to be so kind to her. She really needs the support!
A few months ago, our neighbors lost their 12 year old dog, a mother, and their new house flooded.
We felt so bad for them....so besides telling them how bad we felt, we went to Costco and bought them a gift basket. Placed it on their porch with a card as well. They found it when they got home. (very suprised!)
Later they mailed us a card that said: "Thank you so much for the wonderful basket of goodies. And thanks, for advice on the water problem. We're lucky to have neighbors like you!"
Codeblue
