Wedding RitualsMost wedding traditions, like throwing rice and eating cake, started long ago. Here are some of the stories behind the rituals.
Bridal dress
Wearing a new white dress to be used only for a wedding ceremony is a tradition that is only about 150 years old. Before that, few women could afford a dress they would wear only once.
White traditionally symbolizes youth and innocence.
Red and orange are popular in Asia and the Middle East, where they are considered joyful and festive colors.
Cake
Using wheats and grains in the making of wedding cakes is an ancient symbol of fertility.
In ancient Rome a thin loaf of bread was broken over the marrying couple's heads. The crumbs were saved and taken home by the guests as tokens of good luck.
Tiered wedding cakes originated in old England, where the bride and groom kissed over a stack of little cakes.
Canopy
The canopy used in Jewish weddings is called a huppah. The couple and the rabbi stand under the cloth canopy during the wedding ceremony; it is a symbol of the couple's future home.
FlowersAncient Roman brides wore bunches of herbs under their veils as symbols of fidelity. Orange blossoms are symbols of happiness and fertility because the orange tree blooms and bears fruit at the same time. Roses are the flowers of love, making June, the month of roses, the most popular wedding month. The early Greeks believed ivy to be the sign of everlasting love. It is still used to trim wedding bouquets.
Flower girlsFlower girls first appeared in wedding ceremonies in the Middle Ages. Two young girls?usually sisters?dressed alike, carried wheat before the bride in the procession. Later on, flowers replaced the wheat and it became customary for the flower girls to strew petals at the bride's feet.
Glass breakingAt the end of a Jewish wedding ceremony a wine glass is covered with a white cloth and laid on the ground. The groom breaks it by stomping on it. This symbolizes the destruction of the ancient Jewish temple. It is a reminder of the seriousness of marriage and that it cannot be reversed.
HoneymoonThis first vacation taken by a newly married couple dates back to very early times when a groom wanted to hide the wife he had captured. The Teutons, an ancient German tribe, gave the honeymoon its name. After the wedding ceremony, honey was drunk until the moon waned.
Rice throwingRice is a symbol of fertility and long life. Guests throw it at the bride and groom as a wish for children and a good life. Other good luck charms are confetti, orange blossoms, corn, barley, chickpeas, and dates and figs to sweeten the marriage.
RingsEngagement rings originated from the custom of exchanging rings to seal an important agreement. Rings are circular and without end to symbolize eternal love. A wedding ring is worn on the third finger of the left hand because it was believed that a vein or nerve ran directly from this finger to the heart.
VeilsRoman brides wore veils 2,000 years ago. Veils were worn as a sign of modesty and secrecy and were removed only by the husband after the wedding ceremony. The first American woman to wear a wedding veil was Nelly Custis, Martha Washington's daughter. She wore the veil to please her husband-to-be, who had complimented her on how pretty she looked when seen through a lace-curtained window. In some Eastern countries a veil is placed between the man and woman throughout the wedding ceremony. This ensures that they cannot see or touch one another until after the marriage.
Marriage Through TimeIt is believed that the first "marriage" took place when a primitive man went into a primitive woman's cave and carried her off to be his mate. He chose her not for love but for her ability to do work. Since then, of course, the idea of marriage has changed quite a lot.
Ancient Greeks and Spartans
All marriages were arranged by parents and approved by the gods in ancient Greece. Women in their early teens were married to men in their mid-thirties. A husband then had to buy his new wife from her father. Many couples did not see each other until after the ceremony, when the bridal veil was removed. On the night before the wedding, the girl's hair was cut off and she was bathed in holy water from a sacred fountain. Her childhood toys were then taken away and dedicated to a goddess. Greek wives were "owned" by their husbands, who could lend or sell them to others.The Spartans believed that a person's athletic ability matched their fitness for marriage. Before marrying, a couple was required to wrestle in public to show their compatibility. Spartan women married in their twenties. The groom's father chose a bride for his son. Twelve months after the selection, the couple was married. During the marriage ceremony, the bride wore a white robe, a veil, and jewelry given to her by her new husband's family. The ceremony took place in the groom's tent and the festivities lasted seven days. If a woman was wealthy, she might have a husband for each house she maintained.
RomansRoman brides wore white tunics with orange veils and orange slippers. Following the ceremony, the groom carried his bride over the threshold of their new home to symbolize his ownership of her.
Medieval ChristiansChristian church marriages were thought to be made in heaven and therefore could never be broken. The father of the bride gave a dowry of land or money to the groom. If the marriage was unsuccessful, the wife and the dowry were returned to the father's home, but neither partner was allowed to remarry.
Ancient JapaneseUntil the 1400s, married couples did not live together in Japan. They stayed in separate homes, meeting only at night. The old Japanese word for marriage meant, "slip into the house by night."
Dating Customs Around the WorldThese are some of the ways teens date in other countries of the world.
AfghanistanDating is rare in Afghanistan because most marriages are arranged by parents, and schools are separate for boys and girls. The opportunities to meet are rare. Girls have a 7:00 P.M. curfew, while boys have an 11:00 P.M. curfew
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AustraliaMost teens go out in large groups and don't pair off until they are 18 or 19 years old in Australia. Girls often ask out boys and pay for the date, too. Couples often go to dinner parties, barbecues, or the beach.
Central and South AmericaDating is not allowed until the age of 15 here. When of age, most boys and girls date in large groups, going out together to weekend dance parties. When not dancing, teens gather at local clubs to eat and talk.
EuropeDating is usually a group event in Europe. In Finland, as many as 30 teens may attend a movie together. Slumber parties are common in Italy and Switzerland, where teens gather for parties at a home and sleep there when the party is over.In Spain teens join a pandilla, a club or a group of friends with the same interests, like cycling or hiking. Dating is done one-to-one and both girls and boys ask each other out and split the cost of the evening's entertainment.In Russia dates take place at dances or at clubs where teens eat or chat with friends. In small towns, teens meet in the streets downtown or gather around a fountain.
Iran It is against the law to date in Iran. Teens are separated until they are of marrying age, then their families introduce them to each other and sometimes a courtship follows.
Japan and KoreaIn Japan and Korea, most high school students don't date or go to parties, but spend their time studying instead. Dating begins in college, when only boys do the asking and pay for the dates
Marriage Today
AmishWhen an Amish couple wants to marry, the man asks a churchman to ask the woman's parents for their approval. If consent is given, the marriage is announced two weeks before the wedding. The wedding takes place on a Tuesday or Wednesday in November, after the harvest. The bride wears white for the first and only time in her life. There are no rings, photographs, or flowers at the wedding. There is no honeymoon and the couple does not live together until the springtime, after a series of weekend visits with family and friends.
ArabsArab marriages are arranged between two families. They agree on the amount of money to be paid the bride's family for her trousseau (a wardrobe the bride acquires before marriage). An Arab bride celebrates her wedding in an ancient ceremony that excludes men. The bride's hair is covered with henna, a deep red dye, and her body is elaborately painted by her friends. Afterward the women all dance together.
FrenchIn France, one couple may have three marriage ceremonies. The first is the civil ceremony, which is performed in the town hall with the mayor officiating. The second ceremony is religious, usually Roman Catholic, performed by a priest. The third takes place if the couple lives in the countryside. In this ceremony, the people of the village host a 10-course banquet for the bride and groom in which there is singing, storytelling, games, and toasting. The villagers bang pots and pans to remind the couple of the possible difficulties of marriage.
GermansIn a wedding ceremony in Germany, the bride and groom hold candles decorated with ribbons and flowers.
GreeksAt a Greek wedding ceremony a guest of honor, known as the koumbaros, crowns the wedding couple and joins them in a symbolic gesture by circling the alter three times.
IndiansChild marriages are still common in parts of rural India, where it is not unusual for 7-year-olds to marry! On the day of the ceremony, the young groom rides into town on a horse followed by hundreds of friends and relatives. A local wise man chants wedding mantras, or prayers. The bride and groom walk around a ceremonial fire seven times. The bride goes to live in her husband's house for three days. She then returns to her own house to await puberty, when she will be reunited with her husband.
ItaliansAfter the wedding ceremony the newlyweds are showered with confetti made of sugar-coated almonds. This confetti symbolizes the bitterness and sweetness of married life.
JapaneseJapanese couples are traditionally introduced by a nakodo, or go-between, who is usually a friend or relative. The engagement is celebrated with a toast of sake (Japanese wine made from rice) and an exchange of presents such as seaweed, fish, fans, and thread. The most common wedding ceremony in Japan is the Shinto ceremony. The bride and groom sit at the altar of a shrine with their parents and the go-between. After being purified by a Shinto priest, the bride and groom each drink from three cups of sake three times. The bride wears a white kimono to symbolize the death of her ties to her own family. She also wears a special hat known as a horn cover to cover her horns of jealousy. The marriage is legal when the couple registers at a local government office.
MbutisThese nomadic people live in Central Africa. A Mbuti man must prove his worth to a woman's parents by catching an antelope single-handedly and offering it to them. He also gives small gifts of roots, nuts, or birds, or orchids from the tops of the tallest trees in the forest. When the couple is ready to be married they build a house and live together. They are finally married three days after the bride gives birth to her first child.
Superstitions: Love LoreA superstition is the belief that an object or an action will have influence on one's life. Folklore abounds with superstitions related to love and marriage; here are some of them.
Marriage superstitionsA bride can ensure good luck in her marriage by wearing something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.It is bad luck for a bride and groom to see each other before the ceremony on their wedding day.
Marry in September's shine,
Your living will be rich and fine;
If in October you do marry,
Love will come but riches tarry;
If you wed in bleak November,
Only joy will come, remember;
When December's showers fall fast,
Marry and true love will last.
Monday for wealth, Tuesday for health,
Wednesday the best day of all;
Thursday for crosses,
Friday for losses,
Saturday no luck at all.
Love superstitions
| Gypsies found the mule with the longest ears and asked it if they would fall in love soon. If the mule shook its head, the answer was yes; if the mule moved one ear, the answer was maybe; and if the mule did not move, the answer was no. |
Sure-fire signs you'll fall in love soon: You stumble going up a flight of stairs. You have hairy legs. lol!You dream of taking a bath. The lines on your palm form an M. To dream of what your next boyfriend will look like, Sleep with a mirror under your pillow. Wear your nightgown inside out. Rub your headboard with lemon peel before turning off the light. Count nine stars each night for nine nights. Put daisies under your pillow at night. Take a sprig of rosemary and a sprig of thyme. Sprinkle them three times with water and place each herb in a shoe. Put the shoes at the foot of your bed. Stand in front of a mirror and brush your hair three times.
| marriage |
marriage, socially sanctioned union that reproduces the family
. In all societies the choice of partners is generally guided by rules of exogamy (the obligation to marry outside a group); some societies also have rules of endogamy (the obligation to marry within a group). These rules may be prescriptive or, as in the case of the incest taboo, proscriptive; they generally apply to kinship groups such as clan or lineage; residential groups; and social groups such as the ethnic group, caste, or class.
Marriage is usually heterosexual and entails exclusive rights and duties of sexual performance, but there are instructive exceptions. For example, Nayar women of India would ritually marry men of a superior caste, have numerous lovers, and bear legitimate children. Among the Dahomey of West Africa, one woman could marry another; the first woman would be the legal "father" of the children (by other men) of the second
. These examples highlight the functions of marriage to reproduce both a domestic division of labor and social relationships between different groups. Such functions are served even by the more common type of marriage, the union of one or more men with one or more women.
In most societies men and women are valued for their different roles in the household economy. Marriage therefore often occasions other economic exchanges. If a woman's labor is highly valued, a man may be required to offer valuable goods (bride-price) or his own labor (bride-service) to his wife's family. If a man's labor is more highly valued, the bride's family may offer goods (dowry) to the husband or his family.
Marriage as a Societal BondIn many societies marriage links not just nuclear families but larger social formations as well. Some endogamous societies are divided into different exogamous groups (such as clans or lineages): Men form alliances through the exchange of women, and the social organization regulates these alliances through marriage rules. In some cases, two men from different groups exchange sisters for brides. Other instances involve an adult man marrying the young or infant daughter of another man; sexual relations would be deferred for many years, but the two men will have formed a strong bond. Marriages are often arranged by the families through the services of a matchmaker or go-between, and commence with a ritual celebration, or wedding. Some cultures practice trial marriage; the couple lives together before deciding whether they should marry. Society generally prescribes where newlywed couples should live: In patrilocal cultures, they live with or near the husband's family; in matrilocal ones, with or near the wife's family. Under neolocal residence, the couple establishes their own household.
Although marriage tends to be regarded in many places as a permanent tie, divorce is allowed in most modern societies. The causes of divorce vary, but adultery, desertion, infertility, failure to provide the necessities of life, mistreatment, and incompatibility are the most common. Civil unions are now permitted in Western countries, but for nearly a thousand years marriage in the Western world was a religious contract. The Christian church undertook its supervision in the 9th cent., when newlywed couples instituted the practice of coming to the church door to have their union blessed by the priest. Eventually the church regulated marriage through canon law
. In contemporary N Europe marriage has lost some of importance, especially as social legislation has emphasized assuring equal financial benefits and legal standing to children born to unwed parents.
I can remember when it was "shocking" for people of different races to marry and I'm not that old.We are constantly evolving and will probably continue to evolve as long as we exist.I think I can discribe my point of this thread as more of a question regarding all the hoopla over homosexual marriage rather then just marriage in general. IMO there could/probably come a day when marriage, as we now know it, will be a thing of the past and considered to be nothing more then some strange ancient ritual once practiced by pagans.