little old lady

by Heatmiser 0 Replies latest social humour

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  Heatmiser

  Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?
  Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.
  Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
  Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the Porch and sat down beside me.
  Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
  Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.
  Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
  Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.
  Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
  Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.
  Defense Attorney: Why not?
  Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abler died some 30 years ago.
  Defense Attorney: What happened next?
  Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.
  Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
  Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.
  Defense Attorney: Why not?
  Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
  Defense Attorney: What happened next?
  Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling really "spicy" that I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me!"
  Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
  Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.