The ONLY thing that kept me faithful to my first spouse

by YoursChelbie 3 Replies latest jw friends

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  YoursChelbie

  Those who were active JW's AND married at the same time: Did being in the Witness religion contribute in large part to you being faithful to your spouse? Now that you are no longer going to all the meetings or reading the bible, do you feel much more inclined to give in to all the temptations and get involved in extramarital relationships?

  Would it be risky for you to actually marry a person who said the only reason they stayed faithful in a previous marriage was because they were Witnesses at the time?

  --YC
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  talesin

  In answer to your first question, no I have never felt like I wanted to cheat because I am no longer a witness. I am a monogamous person who has never felt 'tempted' by others when in a relationship.

  To the second, I would not partner with someone unless I believed they were monogamous as well. So if they didn't cheat cause of being a JW, that means they wanted to, therefore I would say "see ya".

  talesin
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  boa

  i was 'married' to my wife as a soul mate long before getting the actual certificate. the certificate is a requirement demanded by the org cuz appearances and the actual 'sin' (in the sense of acts of conduct) seen by people is more important than the heart and whats in it imo. ie - you gamble thus you are guilty of GREED

  so no, being a dub didn't change the loyalty to my wife (i can flirt though heh heh - she knows me)

  however, after leaving the org - we are broadening our viewpoints about all the other things people can do with each other. We do not intend to do anything that would harm our relationship though, so right now its just observation, nuff said.

  I would say no, to 'more inclined to give in to all the temptations' for your assumption seems to me to be that there is someone putting out 'temptations' such as the desire for sex in all its glory (doncha know, for a man, there is no 'bad' sex - heh heh) when I would rather say that the closed and highly controlling intrepretations of a human organization no longer have a hold on me.

  great thread YC, and a big, hearty, manly WELCOME from boa

  boa

  boa's wife is bulldog
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  jgnat

  I figure the big crises in marriage happens when the original foundation is challenged. For instance, if one partner no longer wants to be a JW, the other partner can be threatened, because the life they envisioned is threatened. Likewise if a partner changes their mind as to whether they want a large family or not. Other common crisis points include young people in their twenties who mature and discover they no longer have nothing in common with their partner, or when they hit that big old mid-life crisis, and decide to remake themselves, and forget to tell their partner.

  It doesn't sound like your hubby is thinking about YOU when he talks about questioning his commitment. But this might be a good time for both of you to reconsider your foundation. What do YOU want out of the relationship?

  Me, I am a jealous woman. I do not share. Nor would I cheat. I remind my hubby of that regularly.