JW Cemetary in North Carolina

by Valis 8 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Valis
    Valis

    Hmm...I wonder if they got a group rate? *LOL* I thought this was interesting...One can assume they expect to all be reawakened together eh?

    Sincerely,

    District Overbeer

  • kls
    kls

    Gee , and i wonder how much of a donation they have to give to be buried in this place . AHH, to rise up from the dead with all youre jw pals.

  • desib77
    desib77

    I'm surprised the one with the surname Church didn't change it to Kingdom Hall.....

    Desi

  • gitasatsangha
    gitasatsangha

    The North Carolinian JW Body Plot: 2535CE

    Will: "Hey Chris! We're alive!"

    Chris: "Yeah, awesome! Look at all these beutiful trees! And all the birds. Oh Thank Jehovah!"

    Will: "I wonder if they still get Startrek here!"

    Voice: "Why yes we do, my dear brothers.We get the original series, the animated series, the Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager, and Enterprise, new series you'v never heard of, plus your choice of a pay per view Star Trek movie per day on a large plasma television in your own domocile."

    Will "Oh man! Wow!"

    Voice: "I am Assistant-Prince Enoch of the North Carolina Circuit Number 5 Resurrection Committee. Welcome to the Future. You can't see me yet, as you are being given at first a peaceful glimpse of this world. In time your sight will reach its ultimate potential, but your counsciousness meeds a little time to reach that level, yet."

    Will: "I think I speak on behalf of my friend when I say how thankful we are to Jehovah for allowing us to be here, and for the society in giving us the Godly Training to make it."

    Voice: "I'll pass your thanks on to them at the next committee meeting. Any questions."

    Chris and Will at the same time: "How did we die?"

    Voice: "Well you know how you two liked to work together and um, park for breaks at that quiet secluded spot sometimes?"

    Will: Uh..

    Chris: I can explain.. it's just that we..

    Voice: No need. You were hit by a drunk driver while in flagrant delecto, but you WERE out in service, so the two acts cancelled each other out, and you have arrived in Paradise as friends. Your unnatural urges are destroyed by the restoration of the Water Canopy in the sky. The water canopy transforms all homoerotic urges into pleasurable sensations when thinking about, talking about, or watching Star Trek."

    Will: Awesome!

    Chris: yeh.. I guess.

    Voice: "We're really into Startrek here. I think you will like it."

    Chris: "We'll be to busy restoring the earth to watch it much, but it sure is nice to see Star Trek made it into Paradise."

    Voice: "But you will. Earth has already been restored, and with all the work done, there is no longer any need to go out in field service or restore the earth. The sisters keep the gardens in good shape."

    Will: "What to we do besides watch startrek?"

    Voice: Procreate, for the glory of our Lord, raising families of worshippers. We must fill this earth to praise Jehovah! Each of you wil be assigned three sisters in addition to your original wives to marry so that you can begin starting your own patriarchy. We can't begin to populate other worlds until this world is filled with human beings.

    Chris:"This is way better then going out in field service?"

    Voice: "What did you say?"

    Chris: "I was just saying that this was (BUZZZZZZZZ) ARRRRHGHGH!"

    BBEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

    Chris: (getting elbowed in the ribs in a rumpled bed): "Hunh!?"

    Wife: "Wake up, Chris, it's time to get ready for field service."

    Chris: (climbing out of bed)"Oh it's saturday...whoa that was a wierd dream I had"

    Wife: "Well let's get a move on"

    Chris: "Oh.. uh I told Will I would work with him today in his rural territory, ok?"

    Wife: "Oh you two buds are joined at the hip"

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    I hear the dubs are just DYING to get in this place!!

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge

    ROFL.....GITA...

  • Xandria
    Xandria

    Well there is a Bethel, N.C. ~ it always creeps me out to drive through it.

    X

  • Kenneson
    Kenneson

    And the cemetery is on the way to Rutherfordton, N.C. Surely not!

  • NeonMadman
    NeonMadman
    Voice: "Why yes we do, my dear brothers.We get the original series, the animated series, the Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager, and Enterprise, new series you'v never heard of, plus your choice of a pay per view Star Trek movie per day on a large plasma television in your own domocile."

    Yeah, but did Shatner, Nimoy, Doohan and the others all make it into the New System (or get resurrected) so they can keep making new Classic Trek episodes throughout eternity?

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