My 9 year old son just a few minutes ago asked me questions that as an adult I can not even begin to answer.
We raised him a JW from until just 2 yrs ago as a JW. All the basic JW teaching were in place very early on.........paradise on earth, when we die we are dead, asleep , waiting to be resurrected, the heaven is only for some, there is no hellfire.....etc. etc.
I thought it would be so easy to reteach him non JW ways,,,,,,,but as I see it ,,,,,,,,,it is not as simple for my youngest son as I thought it would be. My daughter is more on the level of whatever happens happens, and she is more interested in the here and now, to hell with the future..........lol.
My oldest son,,,,, I truly believe has anger and surpresses his JW days as not having any influence on what he is today. I know one day he will have many issues to deal with. I think he has so much on his plate , good and bad ,,,,,,,,as a teen he doesnt even want to talk about JW crap. One day he will thou.
But my youngest has asked me tonite,,,,,,,,,Is there a heaven? I dont want you to die Mama,,,,,not ever. I told him.......when my time is ready and my body is worn out , then I will go to the paradise up in heaven. I said I would go to heaven and get him a place ready for when his time to go to heaven was.( all the while saying this outloud and wanting to believe but not sure.........but he is the type of kid that can not sleep without comforting words). I told him I dont believe we just stop being. He said he wanted me here,,,,,I told him I will have grey hair and swing his babies on a tree swing one day. I told him I don't see myself dying anytime soon. But even as we talk , I am honest and tell him I truly don't know all the answers but this is what I think might be true.
He of course was not really satishfied by my answer, because he asked how do we know that the Bible is really true? Who wrote it? Why did Jesus die for us.........why didnt God( in his mind still Jehovah.....) why didnt he die for us and not let his Son do it ??? He said I bet you wouldn't let me die would you mama? I couldnt argue with that reasoning. He wondered if there is really a hell.....?? If you murder someone do you go to hell? What if you are sorry for it????
Gessssssssssssshhhh!!!!! I honestly am trying to think of the right thing to say to this little 9 yr old boy,,,,,,,,,I can't make stuff up because he would know I was just saying things to make him not worry. He knows I have always done that , but as he gets older he is wiser and I have to tell him the cold hard truth at times, mainly that I dont know alot of things,,,,,but alot of the JW things we knew were wrong. ( As in all people not JW's are going to die in Armeggedon, if you are not at meetings you will die in Armeggedon........etc.)
I tell him, basically that I think that Jesus words , that we should treat others as we would want to be treated is the only way to be. If we miss up ,,and we will,,,,,,,,,if we are truly sorry and try to do better ...than Jesus will be our judge. And I told him if the bible is really true,,,,,,and I told him I am not sure about it all, but that I think Jesus was true as I believe right now.....than we should try to do just that ,,,,be as good as we can., be good to others, and if we make a mistake , to try and make it right.
He seemed to understand this , as he one time made fun of another kid.........he felt sorry for it and now that boy is his best friend. So he saw that the way he did that boy that time was wrong,,,,,and he felt bad for it, and now he is doing something to make it better. He is being a true friend.
I told Chance,,,,,,,my youngest , that even I don't know all the answers, but if I think I know ,I will tell him, and that if he finds out any answers to let me know. I told him to always be like he is........ask questions........ask them even if no one can answer them. I never want them to be like I was as a JW child,,,,,never allowed to question, or always told....." well the WT 1983 says to do this" crap .
I want my kids to feel free and to even ponder all of the questions they want to know coming out of JW in their own way and time.
How are your kids doing since your coming out of the borg ?
I can clearly see that I have not been alone on my exodus as my three children have been there with their own unanswered questions as well.