Never more Lenore,

by weasel 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • weasel
    weasel

    I was with the borg from 1956 to 1976. 24 years later I found ?The Outpost?. All those years I was living to die, one day at a time at Armageddon.

    What amazes me is the 20 years of mind control I endured was still strong inside me. I was hesitant to look at the posts and felt like I was sinning or maybe a lightning bolt would come from Heaven and fry my butt.

    As I read a few posts I didn?t believe what they reveled. I thought it a bunch of pissed people making up lies. I made a long list of information I collected from the post and went directly to my Mother?s JW library.

    After a few hours of study, I got pissed ! All those years of living in fear, what a waist.

    Never more Lenore,

    Weasel

  • bigboi
    bigboi

    Yeah Weasel, a bunch of us have probably been through that. It's hard living and making decisions when a death sentence looms over your head. That said, I'm glad to see you finally found out the real "new light".

  • Strawberryfieldsforever
    Strawberryfieldsforever

    Isn't it great to be free of that burden??? I carried that fear with me for at least 10 years. I always wondered how many years I had left or would I be able to see my kids get married before.......the big day. Now I'm so relieved to be free of that. Life seems so much brighter now. I am very bitter tho about how that brain washing ruined so many years of my life. I may never get over that part of it.

  • galaxy7
    galaxy7

    I am so suprised by the knowledge of the people here

    I to have checked and studied for myself

    If i had any doubts before I dont now

    I do enjoy sharing what I have learned with the good witnesses in my community

    The usual response is that the people on the web are bitter and have a grudge against the society

    I have found this not to be true.

    I just wish the people here could write the watchtower and awake magazines.I bet they would become best sellers

  • MicStroz
    MicStroz
    Life seems so much brighter now.

    That's how I feel......shame I can't pass the feelings along to my family that are still entrapped. For them it is guilt and fear that sets the pace for their life. When I walked away, let it really go, it was like a great dark cloud had lifted off me. I saw the organization for what it was, no rosy colored glasses on, it was an ugly beast.

  • weasel
    weasel

    The Raven

    by Edgar Allan Poe

    First Published in 1845

    Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
    Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
    While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
    As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
    " 'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door;
    Only this, and nothing more."

    Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December,
    And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
    Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow
    From my books surcease of sorrow, sorrow for the lost Lenore,.
    For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore,
    Nameless here forevermore.

    And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
    Thrilled me---filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
    So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
    " 'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door,
    Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door.
    This it is, and nothing more."

    Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
    "Sir," said I, "or madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
    But the fact is, I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
    And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
    That I scarce was sure I heard you." Here I opened wide the door;---
    Darkness there, and nothing more.

    Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing
    Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
    But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
    And the only word there spoken was the whispered word,
    Lenore?, This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word,
    "Lenore!" Merely this, and nothing more.

    Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
    Soon again I heard a tapping, something louder than before,
    "Surely," said I, "surely, that is something at my window lattice.
    Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore.
    Let my heart be still a moment, and this mystery explore.
    " 'Tis the wind, and nothing more."

    Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
    In there stepped a stately raven, of the saintly days of yore.
    Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
    But with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door.
    Perched upon a bust of Pallas, just above my chamber door,
    Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

    Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
    By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
    "Though thy crest be shorn and shaven thou," I said, "art sure no craven,
    Ghastly, grim, and ancient raven, wandering from the nightly shore.
    Tell me what the lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore."
    Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

    Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
    Though its answer little meaning, little relevancy bore;
    For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
    Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door,
    Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
    With such name as "Nevermore."

    But the raven, sitting lonely on that placid bust, spoke only
    That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
    Nothing further then he uttered; not a feather then he fluttered;
    Till I scarcely more than muttered, "Other friends have flown before;
    On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
    Then the bird said, "Nevermore."

    Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
    "Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,
    Caught from some unhappy master, whom unmerciful disaster
    Followed fast and followed faster, till his songs one burden bore,---
    Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
    Of "Never---nevermore."

    But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
    Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
    Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
    Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore --
    What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
    Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

    Thus I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
    To the fowl, whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
    This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
    On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er,
    But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er
    She shall press, ah, nevermore!

    Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
    Swung by seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.
    "Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee -- by these angels he hath
    Sent thee respite---respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
    Quaff, O quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!"
    Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"

    "Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!--prophet still, if bird or devil!
    Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
    Desolate, yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted--
    On this home by horror haunted--tell me truly, I implore:
    Is there--is there balm in Gilead?--tell me--tell me I implore!"
    Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

    "Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil--prophet still, if bird or devil!
    By that heaven that bends above us--by that God we both adore--
    Tell this soul with sorrow laden, if, within the distant Aidenn,
    It shall clasp a sainted maiden, whom the angels name Lenore---
    Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels name Lenore?
    Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

    "Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting--
    "Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
    Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
    Leave my loneliness unbroken! -- quit the bust above my door!
    Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
    Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

    And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
    On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
    And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming.
    And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
    And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
    Shall be lifted---nevermore!

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