A caring husbandThis letter is being widely circulated. Written by a caring and concerned
husband, it expresses so beautifully his observations of changes in his
wife -- changes that are of some concern to him. Like most people, you
will be glad you took the few minutes required to read it.
Dear Friends, It is important for men to remember that as women grow older
it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as
they did when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not
to yell. Let me relate how I handle the situation.
When I got laid off from my consulting job and took "early retirement" in
April, it became necessary for Nancy to get a full-time job, both for extra
income and for health benefits that we need. It was shortly after she
started working that I noticed that she was beginning to show her age.
I usually get home from fishing or hunting about the same time she gets home
from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that
she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper.
I try not to yell, instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when
she finally does get supper on the table. She didn't used to leave the
dirty dishes on the table but it seems now she allows them to sit on the
table for several hours after supper.
I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren't
cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to help
her get them done before she goes to bed.
Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Our
washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says she just can't
make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this. As
long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening I am willing to
overlook it.
Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday
lodge meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's or
Thursday's bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the
next evening to do the ironing. This gives her little more time to do some
of those odds and ends things like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting.
Also, if I have had a really good day fishing, this allows her to gut and
scale the fish at a more leisurely pace. Nancy is starting to complain a
little occasionally. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her
to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite of
her complaining, I continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell her to
stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush
so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then
wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean.
When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She
had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try
not to embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest breaks. I tell
her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and
just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she is making one for
herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the hammock
so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Nancy on a
daily basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this much
consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it
impossible. No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can become
as they get older. However, guys, even if you just yell at your wife a
little less often because of this article, I will consider that writing it
was worthwhile.
Signed, Bob
Bob's funeral was on Sat., January 25th.
Nancy was acquitted on Mon., January 27th
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Frannie B
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