Thank you all for the kind words from those who posted on the other thread about the student of mine who was found dead from a gunshot wound on Tuesday....I have more to get off my chest...
?..I went to the funeral today.
Here is the story:
It was held in a funeral home.
There was a viewing. Some recorded piano music played in the background?for over an hour the music played during the viewing. The music reminded me of Kingdom Hall music.
The room at the funeral home that could hold maybe 200 overflowed out the door and filled the courtyard outside. More people were standing in the back of the room and out in the courtyard than were sitting?there were many, many people there.
There were so many, many of our students there, both past and present. It was hard to watch their pain?to see so many of ?my babies? cry?there are not enough hugs in the world.
The service finally started, and they announced it would be given in both Spanish and English, Spanish first.
As I listened to the service in Spanish, I realized I could understand much of what the speaker was saying because of my days as a JW?I knew the scriptures he was reading and so forth?
It was very said, so very, very sad.?I wiped away tears as I listened to the speaker?only catching tiny bits and pieces that I understood?my mind filling the gaps with what I though were, or could be, the meanings.
I looked forward to the English part of the service. The speaker sounded calm and comforting and I wanted to hear the part where he would say Miguel?s pain is over, his difficulties here on earth are done and now he happy and at peace, at home with God. I really wanted to hear that part.
At least I figured that was what the speaker would say since it was obviously a Christian service, with so many scriptures read from the Bible?
Then the English part of the service began.
It was a little boy?s funeral, with talk of his favorite foods, colors and his unrealized hopes and dreams for the future. It was so sad.
And then the speaker said, ?No one looks forward to death, but it something that faces each of us. Some say death is just a natural part of life. But the Bible says differently. The Bible says we were not meant to die.?
And I realized it was a JW funeral.
An 'EFFIN JW funeral.
I felt like throwing up right at that moment. I actually had to bolt out of my seat and push through the crowds to get outside. So much rage and disgust and pain filled me.
At that moment so many things made sense about Miguel, like why he would never say after school to do yearbook or Leadership, his troubles at home,?and so many other things did not?like his gang-banging life ?..
After standing outside with the large overflow crowd for a few moments and calming down, I looked around a saw all the NWT bibles?all the JWs mixed in with the crowd. There were a lot of them here.
I realized I knew what to say to the family when it was time I offered my condolences: That Miguel was a good boy, and that Jehovah would remember him in the resurrection, I was sure, because Jehovah reads hearts. Miguel had a beautiful heart, that is for sure, and I was fortunate to have known him.
Then the yucky JW service ended with the offer of reading material ?for any interested ones.
Then I said goodbye to Miguel. Then I spoke with the poor, devastated family for a moment, and it was over.
I wonder now if maybe anyone on this board is from the area (Mountain Veiw, Ca )?.perhaps someone here knew Miguel, or the family.
I can?t believe it was a JW funeral?what are the chances? I can?t believe he was raised a JW (the speaker said he was). I wish I had known. I wish I had known. My mind is spinning. My heart is breaking. There is a rumor now that it might have been suicide?it just gets worse and worse.
Tomorrow is school, and I don?t want to go.
Thanks for listening,
Lisa
(Here is the first thread about Miguel. It tells more about him than the service did , and that is not much:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/70731/1116825/post.ashx#1116825
It also has a picture.)