by ohiocowboy 6 Replies latest social family
Scary topic, and knock on wood it doesn't happen to anyone, but...
What if one of your closest family members; spouse, sibling, parent, or child came to you and told you that their mind is made up, and they have decided to join the organization. How would you respond? What unbiased, loving council would you give them, so as not to ruin your relationship with them?
I have thought about this for a couple of days now, and still don't have an answer.
Your answers may come in handy one day...
funny you should mention this as I was the person who did this to my normal, happy friends and family. I had never met a JW or had any contact with them before they conned me into joining them. Led on completely by a man who now I am sure only led me so I would join the stupid freaks.
At first my family was afraid and freaked out, all of my friends told me to stay away from them and my brother stopped talking to me.
Eventually my folks had no choice but to accept it but they were kind and loving and told me they would be there for me when i chose to leave them. I just laughed at them thinking they were being stupid and that i had finally found the truth that made my whole reason for being complete.
But nearly a month ago now, I finally woke up to the fact that I was in a cult. I discussed this with my folks and they are quietly happy I have left and they have their fun-loving daughter back although somewhat scarred from yet another traumatic life experience.
All I can advise is if a loved one does choose to become a dub - just let them go - most people only realise and see the truth when they are ready and wanting to, so there is nothing you can do. Just always be your same old loving self and hope that is a big enough reason for them to not leave you.
I've wondered about this myself. I think I'd have different responses depending on the relationship. It seems like it would be important to have some understanding of what is driving them in that direction in the first place. I never joined, I was raised in it, and it never suited me, so I am somewhat in the dark about this. It seems to me, though, that people often join because they are lonely, vulnerable, and feeling shaky about what to do with their lives. They quite often seem to be people who need some very strong structure and strict (if not consistent) instructions. And they often have a very negative view of life and themselves and other people. That's why JWs so often start with questions like, "do you ever wonder why the world is such a screwed up place?", because they know that's going to reach people who are feeling hopeless and overwhelmed by life. So it seems to me like a good way to counteract that might just be to keep showing them the positive side of life, lots of warmth, like that. I do think the worst thing you can do is slag off the religion (even though it's incredibly hard not to), because it just feeds into the persecution complex.
My brother and his family went in to the org over ten years ago. They were looking for something that they thought was lacking in their lives. By the time we knew they were studying with JW's it was too late. I think once people have made up their mind it is counter productive to try to talk them out of it. Just point out that you think they are making a mistake and that you are available for them if they have questions or change their minds. Keep the lines of communication open and hope that at some point they will come to their senses.
holy crap, dude.
you gotta show them they need nothing to do with that shiznit.
becarfull not to try and inforce your opinion or they will rebell not only for their beleaves but for rebelions sake. tell them to go on line and find out about it them selfs. show them the massive flaws in the org. they might be joining to get meaning in there life, though. try and give them meaning or show them how to get there own. tell them its a cult. buy them a pony. give them a kitten. just dont let them ruin there lives like mine was.
when i left the org i totally freaked out. having ben raised that way i felt like all my life was a waste. i felt like i was a waste of space. i hade no social skills unless i was trying to convert some one. after i left i moved out of my folk's place and began to expirement with any thing and every thing. drugs, alchohol, fights, girls, tattoos, you name it, rebellion became a part of my being.
it was like i was a spring that had ben held tight for my whole life and now that i didnt have any restraints, i sprung out every where. it truly was a "Boing" of sorts. no im a freak and any form of conformity reminds me of the cult. what a bummer hunh, dude.
sorry, there is suposed to be a "w" in that last set of lines. one absent letter changed the meaning of the whole thing.
well since most of my family already doesn't like the JWs and wishes with everything that my mom would get out (they were jumping for joy when I quit).. there isn't much chance of that..
if a friend though started studying.. I would sit them down and explain to them the facts.. why it looks good.. and why it is throwing one'se life away for nothing..
