A recent thread made me think. Are there guidelines to Judicial Comittees that say a minor can not be questioned without a parent or guardian present? I remember my sister was left alone in the room with 3 older men during her JC when she was only 17. When I was 13 my best friend got in to trouble, and they questioned both her and I alone. I'm sure the Society has to have set out legal guidelines for such occasions.
???? For Former Elders re: Comittee meetings
by ApagaLaLuz 8 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Valis
http://www.douknow.net/jw_manual1.htm
CHEVIES, you can have a look at the Flock Book, but I couldn't find any reference to minors.
SIncerely,
District Overbeer
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Puternut
It is recommended that the parents are present with the minor, if still living at home. However if they are baptized and are 'old' enough, and out of the home, there may be times that the minor can meet with a committee. There are some variables that come into play.
Puternut
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willyloman
It is recommended that the parents are present with the minor, if still living at home. However if they are baptized and are 'old' enough, and out of the home, there may be times that the minor can meet with a committee...
puternut said that, and he's correct. One of those "times" is when the parents give approval for their minor child to meet alone w the elders. This happens more often than you would think. I've seen parents say they'll sit in the car in the parking lot during the hearing. I've seen elders ask the parents if they'd mind waiting outside while the committee spoke to their teenager alone and the parents are often williing to do that. To understand, it's necessary to realize what's going on emotionally with parents at the time: They are worried about their kids' future and they desperately want the elders to rub some balm on it and fix the problem. And, yes, most parents do believe that's going to be the result. If I were to advise parents of teenagers today about what to do when the kid comes home and says they engaged in, um, inappropriate behavior, I would say it's no one else's business and handle it on a parent-child level in the most loving, realistic and mature way possible. But that's why I am no longer an elder.
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ApagaLaLuz
elders to rub some balm on it
unfortunately that isnt the only rubbing going on. Thanks for your insight guys. Valis I have added that link to my favorites. I think there is something wrong with the way JC meetings are handled with minors. No kid of mine would be allowed to sit in a room with 3 dirty old men and describe personal sexual situations. Thankfully in my secong meeting when I was 19, I was wiser to the whole situation then when I was 13. But I had an elder try to take advantage of my "weakened spiritual state."
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AlanF
By the experience of many ex-JWs, JCs usually want to meet with baptized minors without the parents present. There are no hard and fast rules, and a father, as head of the household, can insist that he and mom be there. But they run the risk of getting on the wrong side of the elders. Most JWs will go along with what the elders say, not realizing that their kids can be railroaded by elders. Some people have seen that the JC will say nasty things to the kid, then deny it later. That's a very good reason for parents not to trust the "spirit-appointed" elders.
AlanF
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Clinton
When I was 17 I was involved with a girl and of course everyone can imagine we did the things that are viewed as wrong in jdub land. My parents asked if they could sit in on the committee and since the elders who were presiding were somewhat harsh I didn?t mind but they were told by the elders that they couldn?t sit in and that they should not even come near KH while the meeting was going on. I had turned myself in and was willing to confess everything, since I truly believed that was the right thing to do. Needless to say they spent hours going over every detail of what I had done to the point that they kept hammering me every detail, where I put my fingers, how far, and so on and when I couldn?t remember all of the details I was told that unless I confessed everything and stopped trying to hide things that they would have no other choice but to df me. Finally I confessed to doing things I don?t remember doing just so they would ease up on me. It seemed that they were getting off on it and I couldn?t tell if they were getting off on the power they had over a 17 year old or the sexual content of the confession. The whole thing lasted 4 hours and when they eventually asked me to step out so they could discuss their decision it took them all of 3 minutes to decide they were only going to reprove me so I guess I must have fed their perverted hunger enough. After that I determined that I would never again sit in front a JC again. No matter what the headquarters or the elder book tells them local elders can do what they want in these situations. If they feel they can bully the parents without much of a fuss many times they will.
Clinton
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ThiChi
As I remember, it was more of a "Head of the Household" should be involved in family contact, more than any one age group. Wife, daughter, son, all had to consult/go through the HotH on committee matters......(This stuff is really starting to fade away...)
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PoppyR
I've found lots of references to the 'Pay attention to the flock' book, but have never actually been able to find it online, I realise this is cos of threat of being sued, but does anyone have a reliable link? I have tried emailing the address listed on the quotes site, but had nothing in return. PM me if necessary!
Incidentally.. absolutely incensed that a married woman has to have her husband present while the elders discuss things..I had a small experience of this when an individual in the cong went to the elders and said they had seen me staggering along the road drunk. I wasn't drunk at all, and even if I do on occasion drink too much, I dont stagger, I have more class.. they went directly to my husband to speak to him, I was furious!! The correct biblical way was for that individual to come directly to me, they just handled it wrong from beginning to end. They had already formed a committee before even speaking to me about it, and it was a month after the event. I barely remembered it, good thing I keep a reliable diary and could tell them exactly what happened.
The more I hear, the more desperate I am to get away!!
Poppy x