Hi I was with a ex JW for 5 years, and he never attended funerals, christmas, birthdays, weddings, etc. I found their reasoning that it is Pagan and their bible verses against birthdays to be ridiculous. I was bothered more with funerals. How is it love or respect to not attend a family or friends funeral. My ex gradmothers funeral service was in a Catholic Church he stayed outside as well as him mother. When i was with my ex and reading peoples stories there seems to be guilt of celebrating birthdays etc. What if someone i loved passed away he wouldn't be there for me. Did any of you do that how did you justify not attending a funeral, or shunning someone who just lost someone they loved. What are your thoughts regarding this now that you are no longer a JW.
thoughts
by prgirl79 7 Replies latest jw friends
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Purza
Perhaps he did not attend funerals in other churches by his own choice. I know my dad carried his father's casket and that funeral was in a catholic church. My dad was/is "super elder" and does no wrong in his own eyes. It is possible that some JWs consider going into another church a "conscience matter" and didn't go in because they felt uncomfortable.
To this day (I have been out 2 years now) I feel uncomfortable going into a church -- don't know why -- maybe it was the "conditioning" I received at the KH.
Purza
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Nosferatu
Basically, JWs put Jehovah, or his earthly Organization The Watchtower Society first in their lives, before any people in their lives. If the Watchtower Society says that it's not a good idea to attend a non-JW funeral, then they obey. This even happens in JW marriages, if one person stops believing, the marriage most likely won't last, because they have to obey The Watchtower Society. If they consider their no-longer-JW mate a danger to their spirituality, they must leave them, even if the marriage is otherwise fine.
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kls
Let's try that again, when my jw husband's grandmother died he sat outside as to not infect himself with catholic religion. And they say they are not a cult of mind control,,,,, ya and i am a super model with lot's of money.
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Carmel
Purza, I've been out for over 45 years and am still discovering how my early indoctrination by the Borg has affected my life. Many of our foundational prespectives on life are formed around age five and that is when the fear and guilt training begins to infect the developing psyche. It is so subtle and invasive we are hardly aware of much of it. I hope you are able to take your self into account each day and look at your assumptions, prejudices (yes, we all have them) and preconcieved notions. Abandon what is not healthy and look for new ideas and pardigms to replace them.
carm
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xjw_b12
prgirl79 you said:
What are your thoughts regarding this now that you are no longer a JW.
I hesitate to respond to these posts, because looking back on past actions, I realize what a freak I must have looked like.
Yes we were acting out as best we thought we should. We were under the control of a cult. We treated our fellow human beings as lesslings.
For that I am ashamed, and apolagize.
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Gretchen956
I've been out for over 12 years, so its possible there has been "new light", but I remember sometime in the 70s maybe that they actually came out and specifically said you were not to set foot into another church. I remember going to the neighbor ladies funeral when I was young, must have been about 12 or 13 and it was in a Methodist church, so it had to be after that. That would have been about 1968 or 1969. I think later they even said it could be a disfellowshipping offense if you did go.
Some others keep up better on the minutia of the JW trivia.
At any rate, yes it is barbaric and asinine for families to cut off their own family members. But the church isolates you from all friends, families, and acquaintances that are not JW. If nothing else tells you its a cult that item alone would convince me.
Gretchen