From the Dysfunctional Section of Hallmark...

by desib77 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • desib77
    desib77

    Thought these were funny....wanted to share them with ya...

    1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you?ve come into my life... (Inside Card) - I've changed my mind.

    2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life... (Inside Card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.

    3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am.... (Inside Card) - That you?re not here to ruin it for me.

    4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go... (Inside Card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.

    5. Someday I hope to marry... (Inside Card) - Someone other than you.

    6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age.... (Inside Card) - Almost life like!

    7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me... (Inside Card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

    8. We've been friends for a very long time... (Inside Card) - What do you say we stop?

    9. I'm so miserable without you... (Inside Card) - It's almost like you?re still here.

    10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.... (Inside Card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?

    11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket... (Inside Card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

    12. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday... (Inside Card) - So we're having you put to sleep.

    13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in
    , and )

    14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder... (Inside Card) - What was I thinking?

    15. Congratulations on your wedding day! (Inside Card) - Too bad no one likes your husband

    Desi

  • EyeDrEvil
    EyeDrEvil

    LOL, desi,

    thanks for the mid-day giggle.

  • Michael3000
    Michael3000

    10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.... (Inside Card) - Did you ever find out who the father was? That was a gem - thanks! :)

  • Double Edge
  • shotgun
    shotgun

    You wascally wabbit...here's a few!

    Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss..(inside the card)..But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

    Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you...(inside the card)..But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

    Of loving beauty you float with grace...(inside the card)..If only you could hide your face.

    Kind, intelligent, loving and hot...(inside the card).This describes everything you're not.

    I want to feel your sweet embrace..(inside the card)..But don't take that paper bag off your face.

    I love your smile, your face, your eyes...(inside the card)......Damn, I'm good at telling lies.

    My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife...(inside the card)..Marrying you screwed up my life.

    I see your face when I am dreaming...(inside the card)..That's why I always wake up screaming.

  • desib77
    desib77

    lol, Shotgun.....those were good...

    Desi

  • LyinEyes
    LyinEyes

    LMAO@ Desi and Shotgun...those are great.

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