Disfellowshipping

by mdfreels 3 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  mdfreels

  I'm really feeling like I need some advice (please none from ex-witnesses). I have a friend {he was my study} who recently was disfellowshipped. It hurt me deeply. In fact, I was against the decision. Since the decision, I have not spoken with the person.

  We were very close and I miss him greatly. I want to talk with him. Not necessarily about spiritual things (he knows the truth). But just be friends.

  He was disfellowshipped because of a drinking problem. I feel that he could have been better helped by another means other than what has occurred. I really don't know what to do.

  I'm afraid to talk to just anyone. Please give me some advice.
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  SharonUT

  Isn't it now that he really needs you? I mean... it isn't like he is asking you to be his drinking buddy.
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  Sue

  A person who is disfellowshipped feels very very low. If they really want to get back, it is the hardest thing ever. I know it is our policy to shun such a person. But belive me, this does not help. A disfellowshipped clutches at straws. A smile from a witness, gives a needed boost. I feel like you. Don't preach at him, he knows he is doing wrong. But he still needs a friend, even secretly. Direct him to where he can get help. Jehovah is more forgiving than humans are. He can read hearts, a committee cant. Stick, stay in contact. If he really proves he will not change, you then have another decision.
• 

  Gozz

  Sue is right. Just smiling to your friend's enough. It's a real booster. The wrongest thing to do is to start preaching and throwing scriptures at him. I'll say you shouldn't shun him. But don't openly fraternize either or you'll get yourself into trouble. And it's not exactly about im not wanting to change. He became a witness, he thought he could live up to being one. He needs you most now.

  The common reasons given for shunning people are the wrong ones. Shunning moves no one to repentance, and shame in the eys of humans is an inferior reason for wanting to do what one thinks is right. If you support your friend in subtle ways, he'll not forget. And that might just be what he needs.

  All the best.