You know you're a JW when.........................

by nicolaou 3 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  nicolaou

  You know you're a JW when...

  You know when Nisan 14 is on the Jewish gregorian calendar
  each year, but you forget your own birthday.

  You wash windows for a living and still own 4 suits.
  
  All your lapels have badge holes.

  You wait until after Thanksgiving to cook a turkey.
  
  You stay in a hotel 200 miles from home, and you know all the
  other guests.

  You shave on Saturday mornings.

  Every play you've ever seen had actors with fake beards!

  You're more afraid of the dentist than of speaking in public.

  You get up early on January 1st.

  "Pioneer" doesn't make you think of log cabins.
  "Remnant" doesn't make you think of carpet.
  "RV" doesn't make you think of Winnebagos.
  "Street work" doesn't make you thinks of construction.
  "Circuit" doesn't make you think of electricty.
  "Witness" doesn't make you think of court.

  Any others?
  Nic'

  . http://www.do-not-call.org
• 

  Lindy

  About the turkey. All my life, in the number of congregations I have been a member of, the turkey was served on Thanksgiving with a bunch of guests who were all JWs. AND always at some Elder's home. The excuse was that the turkey was cheap and everyone had the day off! Same on Christmas. My question, which soon left me out of being invited to these "love feasts" was: "If the big A came that day and the angels started killing the unbeleivers, how would they know that the household serving the JW turkey was any different than the other "worldly" Thanksgiving feasts?" NOOO answer.
  Notice that the turkey dinners continued, but I was not invited any more. Hmmmm. I guess the turkey blood on the door posts was the sign for the angels, and I was just blasphemous huh? I imagine they thought I had no appreciation for the "finer spiritual things" like a turkey dinner in association with a bunch of JW hypocrites!

  Auntie Lindy
• 

  slipnslidemaster

  Where I'm from, the turkey dinner was always on Friday. That way, the angel would know! hehehe

  Funny how the side dishes were ALWAYS the traditional Thanksgiving sides.

  Slipnslidemaster: "You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty."
  - Sacha Guitry
• 

  waiting

  JanG sent me this in e-mail.

  YOU MIGHT BE A JW IF...

  .... "pioneer" is not a stereo, "new light" is not something in the house wares department, and "tract" has nothing to do with land or farming.

  .... you know when Nissan 14 of the Jewish calendar lands in the Gregorian calendar from year to year, and yet you commonly forget your own birthday.

  .... "Memorial Day" isn't in May.

  .... you spent days at a baseball stadium, never saw a ball, and didn't even have a beer.

  .... you think "formal clothing" and "civic center" belong in the same
  sentence.

  .... you wash windows or cars for a living and still own five suits.

  .... you think nothing of letting your friends stop by to use the bathroom.

  .... you know the cleanliness of every coffee shop for four towns around.

  .... you think 2-door vehicles aren't really cars.

  .... you go to Home Depot and go down the aisle where doors are displayed and you feel compelled to knock on them.

  .... you can't buy a pair of shoes without thinking about how comfortable they will need to be while walking residential streets in 95-degree heat.

  .... you have a tendency to refer to books by color instead by title.

  .... you have a shelf just for 192-page books.

  .... you can't pick up a book, or anything else to read, without picking up a pencil or highlighter too.

  .... you think it is complimentary to refer to someone as "a study".

  .... you have "get-togethers" rather than "parties".

  .... after one of such "get-togethers" at your home, your house is not a mess and you have more food than when you started.

  .... you realize things are getting worse, and you're thrilled.