My Mom Was Visited At The Door...

by exjdub 9 Replies latest jw experiences

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  exjdub

  But it wasn't by JW's. It was by her new neighbors welcoming her to the neighborhood. My Mom, who has been inactive for about 5 years after being in the Org for 40+ years, recently moved to Arizona. She called to tell me about the welcome and how good it made her feel. I joked about it and told her that those damn worldly people keep disappointing every time...if only we could return to the love of the WBTS. She laughed and agreed (tongue firmly in cheek). That has been a big step for my Mom because she wrestled with guilt for a while after leaving (like most of us). What helps is that she has had many warm experiences with "worldly people" in her travels since leaving the Org, which is good, because it keeps her from returning to the vomit of the JW's. Although she has cut loose, she still wonders if she has done the right thing, even though she knows in her heart that she has. Indoctrination is tough to get out of the system.

  Uzzah said in another thread:

  Contrary to what the Society would have us believe the world is full of decent and good people.

  Very true Uzzah, very true.

  exjdub
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  Emma

  she still wonders if she has done the right thing, even though she knows in her heart that she has.

  I can relate to this. For years, in fact until I found this forum, I wasn't sure I'd done the right thing, only knew I couldn't go back. It took me eight or nine years to get past my 40-plus years in the borg. I'm so gald you have your mom!

  Emma
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  Stefanie

  I whole heartly agree!

  What helps is that she has had many warm experiences with "worldly people" in her travels since leaving the Org, which is good, because it keeps her from returning to the vomit of the JW's.

  I think this been the case alot with me.
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  exjdub

  I'm so gald you have your mom!

  Emma,

  I am too. The interesting thing is that our relationship has grown and is far better out of the Org than it ever was in. Some will probably think that this is rhetoric, but it's not. My sister and her elder husband both rejected my mother while she was still a Pioneer and neither one of those two kooks speak to my father, who has never been a Witness and is a very kind man.

  I think this been the case alot with me.

  I'm glad Stefanie and I think that this is the case with most everyone on the board. What a novel idea isn't it? People are actually nice even though they aren't JW's.

  exjdub
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  blondie

  exjdub:

  My sister and her elder husband both rejected my mother while she was still a Pioneer and neither one of those two kooks speak to my father, who has never been a Witness and is a very kind man.

  Sounds like my family. I wonder what their justification is? Probably afraid to talk to him because they they would have to talk to her. I wonder what he thinks?

  Blondie
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  exjdub

  I wonder what their justification is? Probably afraid to talk to him because they they would have to talk to her. I wonder what he thinks?

  Blondie,

  Unlike this spiritual pair who know how to read hearts, I cannot be certain, but it is interesting to note that there were times that they approached my father for loans and he said he was not in a position to help them out. Things got a little cool after that. Coincidence? I don't know, but all of a sudden my sister and her elderhubby stopped calling and visiting him.

  I wonder what he thinks?

  I will tell you what this "worldly" man thinks. I had stopped talking to my sister for 3 years at one point and this distressed my father. He said that he could accept that his daughter did not want to talk to him, but that a brother and sister should be close and should never stop talking. Even though he has reached out many times to my sister, without even a telephone call back, my father asked me to approach my sister and try to re-attach with her.

  Out of respect and love for my father, as difficult as it was, I approached the toxic waste dump my sister and reached out...really. It only took 3 visits before her true colors came through and she called me a liar, among other things, when I answered questions that she asked in connection with my life. Well, it's been another 3 years without contact with her, and, as I mentioned in another thread today, she is dead to me and I am relieved sadly enough.

  To me, my father is the greatest man who ever lived, flaws and all, and he has demonstrated to me over and over again what it means to love. Too bad that I waited until he was an old man to realize it because of the WTBTS. Sorry for the rant within a rant. Your question hit a nerve that I didn't realize I had Blondie! Boy that felt good...Thanks!

  exjdub
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  blondie

  exjdub, I understand the rant. What has your father done to be shunned? Nothing. If it is a money thing, shame on them. Sometimes when we observe some JWs we think the religion is the problem, many times their personality flaws were there anyway; the WTS' teachings just allow them to stay in their unloving rut.

  My JW family vented some of their screwy thinking on others in the congregation. I was finally "vindicated" in my experiences with them. It wasn't me, it was them.

  Just love your dad and that you woke up in time to do it, not when you were standing over his casket in a hole in the ground.

  My parents, alas, are dead to me, unrepentant abusers both. But I have those who love me unconditionally. After all, it is just a little DNA.

  Blondie
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  shera

  Very true,there is many good people out of the JW organization.I used to always think about my mother when I was in.She is a great ,loving person,why would God destroy someone like her....bah to that religion.
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  Carmel

  I can't emagine what it would be like to spend 40 years in dubbyland and then try to leave and become "normal". When I look back I see that my 14 years as a youngun left me with permanent traits that I'll probably go to the grave with. You guys amaze me that are enduring the hangover of several decades of religious drunkeness...

  carmel
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  talesin

  That was good to read, exjdub.

  I'm happy that you and your mom can share this. She's 'coming along', the guilt and fear will fade. In spite of the other family stuff, you're lucky to have each other.

  talesin