How did you feel about yourself when...

Lady Lee

someone close to you left the JWs either on their own or were DFed or DAed?

I believe that at least in my family the fact that more have left than have stayed in (in both the ex-marriage and the with my siblings) that the ex and my mother have some sort of mission to prove they are right.

I know my mother had doubts about her relationship with God (as defined by the WTS). But not one of her children have stayed in the JWs. I was the only one of 5 who got baptized. While I was in this seemed to give her some kind of vicarious status that she had done something right with at least one of her kids (despite the fact I was the one she didn't raise in the JWs as long as the others). And add that I was married to an elder - a very big deal to her

Regarding the ex: well both wives - his two daughters and his two step-daughters have all left as well as both his brothers. I believe his parents are still technically in but are too sick to go to meetings.)

So my questions are:

When someone close to you left do you:

feel guilty or scared that you could "fall away"? or be tempted away?
encourage you to work harder to prove you are not the same kind of person as the one(s) who left?
feel strongly that it would never happen to you?
that you would do what you could to prove to them how wrong they are?
other?

Crooked Lumpy Vessel

My Brother in Law left a couple of years ago I was just sad. My heart felt broken. I think this is because I was indoctrinated with the belief that he was going to die in the big A. I did not want him to die. I love him and my sister dearly. Both are good people.

I never shunned my sister or my Brother in law. But his leaving caused a huge riff in their relationship. He was in the truth for 15 years and now he was not. The elders would talk to my sister and tell her how it is now her responsibilty to care for her children's spiritual needs. "Their blood in on her hands now" She was no longer invited to places in fear that her husband would be there. Friends whispered behind her back. Some even badgered her children about what was going on. Next...she leaves the truth. I continued to be their only friend. Everyone else in the congregation gave them a hard time but I still continued to go to my meetings. However, the more the friends were treating my sister harshly the more I started to listen to my sister rather than the friends. I began doing some research myself. And now I am at a crossroad and I understand more than ever where my brotehr in law was coming from. The friends of course treat me as bad.

Now I am a classic fence sitter. The WTS has been a part of my life since 1987. Its hard for me to take everything I believed to be true for so long to be a hoax. I am at a crossroad myself and am not sure what I am going to do in the end. But I love this site and found that there are so many who were/are just like me. I finally found a forum that I can express my thoughts/fears/concerns etc. without being pre-judged. Although I still hide behind my alias for fear of persecution.

So in answer to your question...Other.

Elsewhere

My thoughts when I was young: I don't understand, why would someone do that?

At the time I had not yet seen how the elders treated people who had questions or did not believe 100% of everything taught.

I also remember, when I was a kid, a pioneer sister suddenly DAed. I asked my mom why and was told that she had been pretending to be a JW for years to keep her mother happy. For a long time I wondered how a person could fake an entire lifestyle.... then one day I realized I was doing the very same thing and DAed too.

Sassy

I had a close friend slowly drift from the meetings while her husband still was attending. I remember wanting to take her aside and ask why? why stop when our lives depended on it, as well as our childrens... Ironically I never did.. and slowly overtime she drifted out of my life too....

as for the meetins, eventually she never went at all...years later I heard she DA'd herself..

I wonder sometimes what impact her answers to my questions back then might have had.. I think she started drifting back in 1992 or so..

Nosferatu

I think the only effect it had on me, when the announcement was made on the stage, is a huge chill went down my spine. I couldn't help but wonder what Satan tempted them with. Personally, I really didn't want my name announced from the platform as being disfellowshipped, and that's probably one of the major reasons I didn't get baptized. It was bad enough when it was announced that I was no longer an unbaptized publisher. The good thing is JWs could still talk to me.