Some Funnies

by Pinned Blouse 3 Replies latest social humour

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  Pinned Blouse

  I'm a Jehovah's Bystander. We's like the Witnesses, only we don't wanna get involved.
  - Flip Wilson

  While traveling near Tampa, Florida I passed the "Jehovah's Witness Assembly Hall" and was struck by the fact that that must be where they make them.
  - Gene Spafford

  What do you get when you cross a devil worshipper with a Jehovah's Witness?
  Someone who goes from door to door telling people to go to hell.

  What do you get when you cross a Mafia soldier with a Jehovah's Witness?
  Lots of converts.

  What does Hannibal Lector call a Jehovah's Witness? Free delivery!
  - Jay Leno

  I could never be a Jehovah's Witness... I didn't see the accident. As far as I know, Jehovah didn't hit anybody.
  - Greg Taylor

  My Avon lady just became a Jehovah's Witness. That may not mean much to you, but it saves me one more trip to the door.
  - George Carlin

  I saw justice in action today for the first time ever. I went out for breakfast this morning with my girlfriend, saw a Jehovah's Witness lock himself out of his own house. Kept ringing the bell.
  - Lou Eisen

  Do you know what it's like to have one already in the house?
  - Julie Barr (comedian) about her sister, a JW

  How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to knock on your door and ask you if you've seen the light!

  What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with an Agnostic?
  Someone who goes door to door for no apparent reason.

  Ask a Jehovah's Witness: If Jesus were in the hospital and needed an operation, could he get a blood transfusion from God?

  I learned something the other day. I learned the Jehovah's Witnesses do not celebrate Halloween. I guess they don't like strangers going up to their door and annoying them.
  - Bruce Clark
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  dorothy

  Haha! Your "funnies" compilations always bring my to the brink of peeing my pants!
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  desib77

  lol

  Desi
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  simplesally

  Melbourne Zoo in Australia had acquired a female gorilla of a very rare species. Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult to handle.

  Upon examination, the Zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available.

  While reflecting on their problem, the Zoo management noticed Kevin, a big Kiwi lad, responsible for fixing the Zoo's machinery. Kevin, like most Kiwi men, had little sense, but seemed to be possessed with ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species. So, the Zoo administrators thought they might have a solution.

  Kevin was approached with a proposition: Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500?

  Kevin showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.

  The following day, Kevin announced that he would accept their offer, only under three conditions.

  "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her. Secondly, you must never tull anyone about this."

  The Zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what his third condition was.

  "Well," said Kevin, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500."

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