Here's a simple test given to all aspiring Terrorist. See if you'd qualify.
Q: You're sitting in Barnes and Noble and you come across a book entitled "the Satanic Verses". Do you...
- Put the book back on the shelf and find something else to read.
- Pray to Allah that the sinful author be forgiven for being so ignorant.
- Pray to Allah that the sinful author be struck down and killed immediately, God willing.
- Behead the manager of Barne's and Noble, posting his severed head on all your friends websites.
Q: You're nation has just been ridden of a cruel tyrant. Do you..
- Celebrate with joy.
- Celebrate with joy, then ridicule your liberator because your Mullah said so.
- Shoot at your liberators because you are unemployed and have nothing better to do. Besides, your Mullah said to do it.
- Behead a jewish guy because he's jewish. Wait, what does that have to do with anything?
Q: A car bomb goes off in your neighboorhood. Do you...
- Seek revenge on those who commited the atrocity.
- Denounce Americans, who did not carry out the bombing.
- Find American bodies and drag them through your neighboorhood for fun.
- Behead the journalist sent to cover the explosion, because doing so is God's will. Plus, you have a friend who runs a cool jihad website and could use the hits.
Q: You're hanging around Riyadh and you come across a blood knife. Do you...
- Turn it into the Saudi police for fingerprint analysis.
- Practice carving pumpkins, God willing
- Behead the nearest infidel supplying you with electrical power.
- Behead the nearest infidel supplying you with electrical power and put pictures of it up on your friends cool jihad website.
Q: Osama Bin Laden comes over for a barbecue. He propositions you for sex. Do you...
- Denounce him for the being the pervert he is
- Wonder if having sex with Osama could lead to a promotion and further your ascent up the corporate cave ladder.
- Let Osama have his way with you and "take one for the team",
- Behead yourself, God Willing.
If your answers include the number 4, then you are a certifiable terrorist. Congradulations on passing the test. Now, go behead someone.